By Yang Laidi I’m Yang Laidi, sixty-two years old this year. In 1985, because my husband had health problems, our […]
My Difficult Course of Looking for the Scroll in Revelation – return to God
By Wang Jie
My family had been well off since my childhood, and the same after my marriage. However, I always felt extremely empty inside so that I could not but kill time by playing mah-jong every day. I wondered frequently: How can I get rid of such a dull life? Just then, someone preached theof the Lord to me, saying that the was able to solve all man’s worry and pain. Thus, I began to attend meetings, and read the and constantly, feeling that I had indeed found my reliance. Also I experienced the pleasure that I had never had. Nevertheless, it did not last long. Gradually, I found the church become desolate. The brothers and sisters all lived in the state of committing sins in the day and confessing in the evening, and I myself also lived in sin, unable to extricate myself from it. In the family life, so long as my husband refused to obey me, I would quarrel with him and even sometimes have a grudge against him. I often thought: It is written in the Bible, “and holiness, without which no man shall see the Lord” (Hebrews 12:14). But I have been sinning and confessing every day; when will it come to an end? If it continues, I shall not enter into .
One day in 2006, I arrived early at Sister Shi Jie’s house for the meeting. Accidentally, I heard Pastor Ma asked Shi Jie quietly whether her younger brother came to preach the gospel recently. She then answered in an undertone that he still came occasionally and that he now read another new book—the little scroll, instead of the Bible. At hearing the little scroll, I was so excited that my heart pounded quickly, and I thought: New book, the little scroll, and stop reading the Bible? I was eager to ask Shi Jie what the matter was, but failed to find the chance throughout, as there were many people at the meeting then and the preacher was sitting with her all along. Back at home, I turned to Revelation in haste, and saw the verses, “And I saw in the right hand of him that sat on the throne a book written within and on the backside, sealed with seven seals. And I saw a strong angel proclaiming with a loud voice, Who is worthy to open the book, and to loose the seals thereof? And no man in heaven, nor in earth, neither under the earth, was able to open the book, neither to look thereon. And I wept much, because no man was found worthy to open and to read the book, neither to look thereon. And one of the elders said to me, Weep not: behold, the Lion of the tribe of Juda, the Root of David, has prevailed to open the book, and to loose the seven seals thereof” (Revelation 5:1-5). After reading them, I thought: The book mentioned in the Revelation surely doesn’t refer to the Bible, because the Revelation prophesied that the scroll is to be opened in the last days when the Lord returns, while almost all believers in the Lord have had the Bible. When thinking of this, I was so excited: Has the little scroll of the last days been opened? What is exactly written in it? Can it resolve my sinful behavior? No, I cannot miss the opportunity. I must find the little scroll through Shi Jie.
One day, I came across her when gathering at Sister Yu’s. While we were cooking in the kitchen, I asked her secretly, “Do you have the little scroll that your brother is reading?” Her face darkened and she said unhappily, “No. Don’t ask me about it.” Immediately I asked again, “Then how can I find your brother?” She looked at me and said sincerely and earnestly, “Stop it. What he believes in now is different from ours.” Then I said anxiously, “At the last meeting, I heard your brother have got the little scroll. Please, go and borrow it. Since you said it was not the same, let’s find out what difference it is on earth. Don’t we have to read it personally to know it? As you see, our church has become so desolate, and the brothers and sisters all live in sin, having no way to practice. The Lord is holy, so we are required to be holy and no men without holiness shall see the Lord. We have been reading the Bible these ten more years since we believed in the Lord, but we still have no solution to the issue of sins. How about we check whether there is any in the little scroll? …” Whatever I said, she persisted in listening to the Pastor and refused to help me contact her brother anyway. So I prayed to the Lord in my heart, “O Lord! I am so eager to read the little scroll to find out whether the contents of the book can bring me the path to get rid of sin. But Sister Shi Jie refused to help. Lord! How can I find the little scroll? …”
When she left, I told Sister Yu of the host family what I had heard about the little scroll, and also told her to ask other believers in the Lord what they were reading at the meeting, the Bible or the little scroll, if she encountered them. Provided that there was any news of the little scroll, we should tell each other. But then, she still couldn’t quite understand why we have to find the little scroll, because in her opinion, it was enough to read the Bible. I replied agitatedly, “We have read the Bible for ten more years, but simply find no way to solve the problem of sin. This little scroll is perhaps the only hope, where we can find the solution to the root of our sin. Otherwise, won’t we all be punished and go to hell in the end because of living in sin?” Hearing this, she nodded. When I went out of her house, I thought: It’s impossible that only Shi Jie’s brother has the little scroll. Those brothers and sisters that truly believe in the Lord in other denominations should have it too. Thinking of this, I hurried to the house of a sister who was a believer in a Three-Self church at the adjoining village to see whether she got the little scroll. However, she said she didn’t hear of it. From then on, I started to seek for the little scroll around through brothers and sisters. Meanwhile, I had tried many times to inquire of Shi Jie the contacts of her brother, but she refused to disclose anything in any case. After seeking painstakingly for one year without any result, I was discouraged all at once. I knelt down and prayed to the Lord, “O, Lord! I can’t sense Your presence in the church, and I tried to find the little scroll, but I failed. Have You abandoned me? O, Lord! I cannot get rid of my sins by merely reading the Bible. If I can’t find the little scroll, my last hope will be dashed, as the wages of sin is death. O, Lord! How can I find it? How can I walk the way ahead of me on earth?” In that period, I prayed to God in this way every day.
Seeing me spend my days with a worried frown, my family decided to move to the county town to change an environment for me. I thought: Perhaps the village is too small in area and few of the believers in the Lord, so that I couldn’t find the little scroll. While the county town is large with many people and churches, if I put in my time and efforts, it might be found soon. Thinking of this, I felt energetic again, and hastened to prepare for the move with my family. The first thing I did when arriving at the county town was to contact the brothers and sisters that I knew, for the inquiry about the little scroll. I went to different churches in succession: the Head Covering Church, the Justification by Faith Church, Three-self Church, etc., but still came to nothing. Then I cried and poured out the depression in my heart before the Lord, “O, Lord! For the sake of seeking for the little scroll, I have moved from the village to the county town, but still no information has been heard till now. O, Lord! Where on earth is the little scroll? …” Two years passed in a flash, nevertheless, the search still came to no result. Feeling utterly helpless, I had no choice but to call Shi Jie again, hoping to hear from her the news about the little scroll. Unexpectedly, when receiving my call, she said happily, “Wang Jie, I will go to your home tomorrow, wait for me at home.” At hearing her words, I was very delighted, and thought: From the tone of her speaking, it sounds that there must be good news. Even if she says nothing about the little scroll, I will surely ask her about it.
The next day, Shi Jie arrived at my house with an unfamiliar sister. I could not wait to ask her, “Did you borrow the little scroll from your brother?” she said with great regret, “We are coming for it. The little scroll you have been seeking for is the words expressed by the return of the Lord Jesus. I can’t speak it clearly. Well, this is Sister Zhang Dan, let her communicate with you.” Zhang Dan said, “Sister, the Lord Jesus that we have been long yearned for has already come back and that He was doing new work. God’s work of saving man is divided into three stages, that is to say, three ages: the Age of the Old Testament, the Age of Grace and the Age of Kingdom. In the Age of the Old Testament, God led the life of man by issuing the laws for man to know sins. In the Age of Grace, God was incarnated, served as man’s sin offering, and redeemed man from sins. However, only half of God’s work of salvation was finished. We believers in the Lord still live in the circle of committing and confessing sins every day, totally shackled without release by sins. This is all fact. Clearly, our sinful nature has not yet been rid of. Today, God has arrived and brought the Age of Kingdom, and again according to the needs of mankind having been deeply corrupted by Satan, He expresses words to do the work of judging and purifying man. Only through the revelations of, can we see the truth of our mankind’s being corrupted by Satan, and then get rid of sins. In the end, when our sins are thoroughly purified and transformed through God’s judgment, we will be able to enter the wonderful destination.” I thought while listening: It sounds so good. I’ve never heard anyone preach that God has done three stages of work which can free man from sin. For so many years, I have been seeking for the way to cast off sin and what she fellowshiped exactly comes to my need. So I asked immediately, “Do the words expressed by God in the last days that you spoke of refer to the words of the little scroll mentioned in the Revelation?” While saying, “Yes.”, Zhang Dan took a book out of her bag. When I looked down, the words “The Scroll Opened by the Lamb” caught my eye. Staring at the book, I wondered: It is not the Bible but a new book beyond it. Is this the little scroll that I’ve been searching far and near? Then she said, “The words in this book are expressed by God in the last days, and also the little scroll prophesied in the Revelation of the Bible.” Hearing this, I found it hard to control my excitement, so I hurried to the bathroom. At that moment, tears trickled down my cheeks. I prayed to the Lord, “O, Lord, it has been so many years that finally I expect You back and find the little scroll. O, Lord, You didn’t abandon me. How should I thank You?” In retrospect, over these several years, I had suffered so much from seeking for the little scroll. Today, my wish was fulfilled at last. Now, for quite a long time, my heart couldn’t calm down. Then thinking of the two sisters still waiting for me in the living room, I took a deep breath in a haste to calm myself. When I returned, I said, “Sister, I was seeking for the little scroll all along. Thank God for His leading you to bring me the heavenly blessing today. I have suffered much from the sins these years, so I wanted to find the little scroll to find out if there is any way to get rid of sins. …” Zhang Dan said excitedly too, “Sister, in this book indeed bring us the way to be cleansed and saved. You will find the way to practice if you read it carefully.” I accepted gladly the little scroll that I had long been seeking for, which seemed to weigh a ton in my hands. Here, Shi Jie stood up and said to me in tears, “I was too foolish before. I myself refused to accept God’s new work; yet, I even hindered you from accepting it. For many a time, you tried to contact my brother for the little scroll, but I refused. How rebellious I was! Though I resisted God’s work in such a way, God didn’t treat me according to that, but still moved the sister to preach the gospel to me. I really thank for His salvation. It is Almighty to bring us back to His house.” I replied happily too, “Thank God indeed!”
That night, I was so excited that I didn’t sleep much and I had been thinking: I have found the little scroll prophesied in the Revelation of the Bible. I finally manage to find it. Henceforth, I started to read God’s word eagerly. One day, I read God’s word saying, “but man has been unable to resolve the issue of just how he can no longer sin and how his sinful nature can be cast away completely and be transformed. The sins of man were forgiven because of the work of God’s crucifixion, but man continued to live in the old, corrupt satanic disposition. As such, man must be completely saved from the corrupt satanic disposition so that the sinful nature of man is completely cast away and never again develops, thus allowing the disposition of man to be changed. This requires man to understand the path of growth in life, the way of life, and the way to change his disposition. It also needs man to act in accordance with this path so that the disposition of man can gradually be changed and he can live under the shining of the light, and that he can do all things in accord with the will of God, cast away the corrupt satanic disposition, and break free from Satan’s influence of darkness, thereby emerging fully from sin. Only then will man receive complete salvation. … That is why in this stage of work God uses the word to reveal the corrupt disposition of man and asks man to practice in accordance with the right path. This stage is more meaningful than the previous one and more fruitful as well, for now it is the word that directly supplies man’s life and enables the disposition of man to be completely renewed; it is a stage of work more thorough. Therefore, the incarnation in the last days has completed the significance of God’s incarnation and completely finished God’s management plan for the salvation of man” (“The Mystery of the Incarnation (4)”). In the past, I was always living in the condition of committing and confessing sins, ignorant of how to solve the problem of sin. Only after reading God’s word did I realize: The issue of committing sins simply cannot be solved by us men at all. Only if we accept God’s work of the last days can we know our corrupt dispositions through the revelation of God’s word. And then we have to practice according to what God’s word requires to gradually achieve dispositional change. Such is the way to cast off sins. Provided that there are no words of judgment and chastisement that God expresses in the last days, we will never be able to truly know the fact of our being corrupted by Satan, to get rid of sin, to be cleansed, and what’s more, to see the face of God. In that way, we will live in sins forever, incapable of releasing ourselves from them, and can only finally be devoured by Satan, losing the opportunity to be saved by God.
As I read more and more God’s word, I felt more intensely: To us corrupt mankind, this stage of work of judging and purifying man that God does in the last days is really needed. I offer thanks and praises to God from the bottom of my heart, because it was He that led me to find the little scroll, keep pace with His work of the last days, and find the path to be cleansed and saved. Thereafter, I carry the little scroll with me every day and read it eagerly, as if I have obtained a treasure!