My Son’s Illness Revealed My Wrong View on Belief in God
- Editor’s Note:
Thanks to the Lord’s mercy and concern, she, who had believed in the Lord for many years, finally welcomed the Lord Jesus’ return. When she immersed herself in the joy, her child suffered from an illness, which puzzled her. It was God’s words that guided her to see clearly the fight in the spiritual world and changed her many years of wrong views on pursuit, so that she overcame Satan’s temptation and herincreased as well. She’ll share with you her experience in “Gains from the Illness.”
I used to be a veteran believer in the Three-Self Church, and my greatest wish was to welcome the return of the Lord in this life. For this reason, I eagerly prayed and longed day and night. One day, the Lord took mercy on and cared for me. Then I read the words spoken personally by God when He returns during the last days. His voice is so intimate and familiar, which is the same tone of the Lord Jesus’ utterances. From God’s new words, I have learned of the mystery of God’s six-thousand-year management plan, the mysteries of the three stages of work, the mystery of the incarnation, the differences between the work of God and man, what kind of people can, and so on. God’s words have also revealed a lot of mysteries in the Bible, which allowed me to understand some of the prophecies recorded in Revelation. I became convinced in my heart that the word of Almighty God is God’s voice and that Almighty God is indeed the returned Lord Jesus. Just when I was immersed in the happiness of having welcomed the Lord’s return, something completely unexpected happened.
One day, I came back home after a gathering. On entering the door, I saw my child sitting on the sofa, wrapping himself up in a quilt, with his arms around his legs, watching me listlessly. I found that he had two bumps on his neck. I was stunned by the scene before my eyes and thought: “Before I left, he was all right, but now what’s wrong with him?” Being scared, I ran up to him quickly and after looking carefully, I saw that his lymph nodes were swollen. Instantly, my mind went blank and I didn’t know what to do. Seeing him looking so miserable, my heart ached as if there was a knife in my heart and I also had a kind of unspeakable suffering within. I wished I could suffer the pain on behalf of my child. I was very weak in my heart and felt confused: It’s only a few days after I accepted the work of God in the last days. Why does my child have such a strange illness? According to logic, my family life should be peaceful after I have believed in the true God; however, why does my family life not have peace but meets with misfortune? What on earth is happening? I continued having question marks in my mind.
When I was puzzled and had no way out, I suddenly thought of a passage of God’s words a sister read at the meeting two days before, “In every step of work that God does within people, externally it appears to be interactions between people, as if born of human arrangements or from human interference. But behind the scenes, every step of work, and everything that happens, is a wager made by Satan before God, and requires people to stand firm in their testimony to God. Take when Job was tried, for example: Behind the scenes, Satan was making a bet with God, and what happened to Job was the deeds of men and the interference of men. Behind every step of work that God does in you is Satan’s wager with God—behind it all is a battle. … When God and Satan do battle in the spiritual realm, how should you satisfy God, and how should you stand firm in your testimony to Him? You should know that everything that happens to you is a great trial and the time when God needs you to bear testimony” (“Only Loving God Is Truly Believing in God”).
Then the sister fellowshiped, “Behind all the things which occur every day, Satan makes a bet with God. It is a battle in the spiritual realm. Since mankind was corrupted by Satan, God has been carrying out the work of saving mankind, while Satan has always been disturbing and destroying God’s work. When God wants to save us, Satan dogs His footsteps and tries to figure out all kinds of ways to allure and tempt us, and to wreck the relationship between God and us, in order that we misunderstand and blame God, straying from and betraying God. Just as Job lost all of his property and children in one day and he himself had painful sores all over. Behind these things, there was a battle between God and Satan. During the torment of his trials, Job didn’t deny God or make a complaint, but instead, he stood witness to God relying on his faith in God. In the end, God rendered double to him.”
Thinking of these things, I realized that my child being ill was also a battle in the spiritual realm. Satan wanted to use my child’s illness to make me complain against and deny God, and wanted to destroy the relationship between God and I. It really was too despicable. Knowing that God allowed the situation to befall me in order to examine my faith in Him, I should be like Job, not losing faith to Him and stand witness to satisfy Him. After realizing Satan’s scheme and evil aim, and understanding God’s will, I prayed to God immediately, “O God, today my child got sick. I know Satan is making a bet with You behind it. Satan wants to use this to disturb me and seduce me into denying and complaining against You. It wants me to doubt Your work and lose faith in You. O God, may You give me confidence and strength to make me not deny or betray You because of my child’s illness. No matter how my child is, I’m willing to stand witness for You.”
After the prayer, I remembered God’s words the sister read at the gathering, “The arrival of God incarnate of the last days has brought an end to the Age of Grace. He has come chiefly to speak His words, to use words to make man perfect, to illuminate and enlighten man, and to remove the place of the vague God within man’s heart.” “He has not come to heal the sick, or to cast out demons, or to perform miracles, and He has not come to spread the gospel of repentance, or to grant man redemption. That is because Jesus has already done this work, and God does not repeat the same work. Today, God has come to bring an end to the Age of Grace and cast out all the practices of the Age of Grace. The practical God has come chiefly to show that He is real. When Jesus came, He spoke few words; He primarily displayed miracles, performed signs and wonders, and healed the sick and cast out demons, or else He spoke prophecies in order to convince people and make them see that He really was God, and that He was a dispassionate God. Ultimately, He completed the work of the crucifixion. The God of today does not display signs and wonders, nor does He heal the sick and cast out demons. When Jesus came, the work He did represented one part of God, but this time God has come to do the stage of work that is due, for God does not repeat the same work; He is the God that is always new and never old, and so all that you see today is the words and work of the practical God” (“Knowing God’s Work Today”).
I remembered the sister said, “God is always new and never old, and never does the same work. In the last days, God comes to conduct the work of initiating a new age and ending an old age. He no longer does the work of healing the sick and casting out demons, or performing signs and wonders like in the Age of Grace. In the past, our believing in God was just for asking for grace and blessings, and for asking Him to keep us so that everything goes well. We are all accustomed to asking for His grace, so we will complain against and misunderstand Him unconsciously when facing unfortunate things. This incarnation of God principally uses the words to do the work of salvation. Through the guidance and enlightenment of the words, we come to know God’s will and His requirements of us. At the same time, we can realize our incorrect intentions and wrong pursuit in believing in God and then be taken out of the mistaken viewpoints of asking for bread from God to eat our fill and for peace and blessings in believing in God. At last, whatever He does, we are truly able to obey in our hearts, making no requests of God.” Thinking of these things, I had a clearer knowledge of God’s work and was aware of my erroneous viewpoints on belief in God as well. This time God has come to do the work of words instead of healing the sick and casting out demons. However, in all my years of faith, I always sought for grace, blessings and the peace of my family. Satan utilized my wrong views on pursuit to disturb and attack me. When my child was troubled, it wanted me to misunderstand and complain against God, even wanted me to doubt God and stray from God. Satan is really too evil! I was willing to transform my wrong views on belief in God and obey God.
With the strength given by God’s words, I had confidence, and then I took my child to a clinic. After knowing my child’s illness, the doctor said my child needed to get an infusion for at least a week. Hearing that, I worried: My child will take the high school entrance exam after three days. It’ll be sure to impact his exam. If he doesn’t score high, he won’t enter into a good high school and then his future will be impacted. Considering it, I couldn’t help but be very worried and felt very weak in my heart. I didn’t know what I should do. Suddenly I thought of a passage of God’s words, “Whatever your background, and whatever the journey ahead of you, no one can escape the orchestrations and arrangements of the Heaven, and no one is in control of their own destiny, for only He who rules over all things is capable of such work” (“God Is the Source of Man’s Life”). God’s words gave me confidence again and I thought: That’s right! Our fates are controlled by God. My child’s fate and future is also under God’s sovereignty. All of my anxiety is superfluous. Come to think of it, Satan is really too base and shameless. It constantly practices various kinds of tricks to tempt us man. Just a moment ago, God’s words led me to see through the trick of Satan; now, by the doctor’s words, Satan makes me worry that my child’s illness will impact his high school entrance exam and then affect his future. But God’s words allowed me to see through Satan’s trick once again. Whether my child gets well and when he will get well are in God’s hands. I must have faith in God. Then, I prayed to God silently in my heart, “O God, there’s nothing I can do, I’m willing to commit my child into Your hands. Whether his sickness impacts the exam, I believe it depends on You. All I want is to obey Your arrangements.”
When I truly committed my child into God’s hands and was willing to obey God’s orchestrations and arrangements, to my surprise, three days later, my child got better and wasn’t affected in the exam. What’s more, he got a high score. I offered my sincerest thanks and praise to God in my heart.
Through this experience, I had a clear knowledge of the spiritual war, and had some insights into the substance of Satan harming and corrupting us. Meanwhile, I realized what I believed in before was a vague God. When facing difficulties, I didn’t know how to seek God’s will and what God’s will was, just feeling that believing in God was for gaining peace and blessings. Now believing in the practical God, when facing these events, I can understand God’s will by relying on His words and know how to practice in harmony with His intentions. When my wrong views on belief in God were turned around and I submitted to God’s orchestrations and arrangements, I saw God’s wonderful deeds. This experience made me taste the almightiness of God’s words. It also gave me a firmer belief of God’s work of the last days. I am now willing to make a firm resolution. Whatever trials or tribulations I face in the future, I will pursue the truth and stand testimony for God, becoming the person of truly glorifying and manifesting God.