When My Husband Opposed My Faith in God...
I’m a Christian. If you ask me, “Have you experienced any suffering in your course of believing in God?” I’ll say, “Yes, I experienced the persecution of my family.” It is a problem that many Christian may encounter; it is also the greatest suffering I have experienced so far.
The First Argument
In March, 2015, I had the fortune to accept God’s work in the last days. Through a period of investigation, I affirmed that all the words Almighty God expresses are the truth, and that only by following God and practicing His words can we be freed of various corrupt satanic dispositions, live out the likeness of a true man and walk on the right path of human life. In the church, I often had fellowships with my brothers and sisters and we shared our experience and knowledge of God’s words together. Through this I had some understanding of God’s work and His management plan to save mankind, and my heart felt particular enjoyment. However, just as I was immersed in God’s love, the temptations of Satan came upon me.
One day, when my husband came home after work, he found that I was listening to some hymns of God’s words on my cell phone while cooking in the kitchen, then he turned it off and aggressively said, “Do you know what church you are believing in?” I was cowed by his abrupt question since I had never seen him get so angry before for all these years of our marriage. So, I hurriedly asked him, “What’s wrong with you? Why are you so angry, what happened?” He said heatedly, “I’ve searched The Church of Almighty God on the Internet. From now on you are no longer allowed to have meetings with people from it.” At that moment, I recalled that after I believed in God, my relationship with my sister-in-law became more and more harmonious and I was no longer prejudiced toward her because of some small matters like I had before. My husband was happy to see this and also supported my. But why did he change so quickly after seeing the negative propaganda on the Internet? Just as I was confused, I thought of God’s words, “In every step of work that God does within people, externally it appears to be interactions between people, as if born of human arrangements, or from human interference. But behind the scenes, every step of work, and everything that happens, is a wager made by Satan before God, and requires people to stand firm in their testimony to God.” It turned out that in such an environment, from the outside it was my husband opposing my faith in God after he saw the negative propaganda, but actually behind the scene it was Satan’s interference befalling me; God’s intention was to see whether I could stand testimony for Him in this environment.
I prayed silently to God in my heart: “God, I know that negative propaganda isn’t a fact. How should I fellowship with him? I’m begging you to give me wisdom.” Then I restrained the feelings of nervousness I had inside, struggling to compose myself and saying, “I don’t know what did you see on the Internet, but please don’t be so quick to judge. In these days when I got together with the brothers and sisters of The Church of Almighty God, all we did was fellowship the truth, pursue to know God and practice to be an honest person as God requires; when someone had difficulties, others would support and help them. We were like a family. Our worshiping God together is walking the right path of life.” Seeing that I didn’t listen to him, my husband said angrily, “It’s only you who are easy to be deceived!” Then he went into our room.
After dinner, we went back to our room for a rest. My husband asked me to watch a video of an interview. It claimed that after people believed in Almighty God, their family might be torn apart because they often went out to spread the gospel, not caring about their families. I felt those viewpoints were so absurd that I said indignantly to him when only half of the video was played, “These are slander and rumors, they are distorting the truth. Before I believed in God, not only was I unable to get along with my sister-in-law, I also always asked too much of you. Once you didn’t obey me, I would give you the cold shoulder until you coaxed me. Now I believe in God, I conduct myself according to God’s words, and our family doesn’t separate but instead becomes more and more harmonious. I’ve experienced that God’s work is too practical and can save me and transform me. As a created being who has enjoyed God’s love, I should bear witness to God’s work for more people who are still living in darkness and longing for God’s appearance. This is my duty and mission; this is a glorious thing. Through the ages, those apostles who followed God left their families and careers to spread the Lord’s gospel, bringing the gospel to all the countries in the world. Could it be that they abandoned their families? Actually, expending for God to spread His gospel is the most righteous and glorious thing. Likewise, if nobody spreads God’s work of the last days, how can we gain God’s salvation?” To my surprise, my husband just wouldn’t listen to anything I said and he was very angry then. He warned me that I wasn’t allowed to go to The Church of Almighty God in the future and urged me to return the book of God’s words to the church.
The Negative Propaganda Provoked a Conflict Again
After that, my husband saw that his words couldn’t change my mind, so he simply stopped going to work and would stay at home to keep an eye on me. He wouldn’t let me have meetings, read God’s words, or contact my brothers and sisters, and he even took my cell phone away. At night he forced me to read the negative propaganda online, but I refuted them one by one. After he found what I said was reasonable and irrefutable, he was not as agitated as before. But still he believed that there is no smoke without fire, and said, “Since The Church of Almighty God is that good, why does it not open to all like the grand churches?”
Seeing that he was so stubborn and couldn’t distinguish right from wrong, I was annoyed. But because of my inadequate understanding of truths, I didn’t know how to use the truth to refute his viewpoints; all I wanted to do was to quickly fellowship with my brothers and sisters. But now he kept an eye on me all day long and followed after me wherever I went. I wanted to cry but had no tears, not knowing when I could have meetings with my brothers and sisters again. I missed the church life with them so much. Now, I not only was watched by my husband without a bit of freedom, but I also had to listen to the negative things that came out from his mouth. I was in agony and really didn’t know how long such life would last. Every time I had to hide myself in the bathroom to pray so that he would not see me. Those days I often prayed to God in tears, “O God, facing such an environment, I feel so weak. Believing in You and worshiping You is the law of heaven and earth, but now, because of the online negative propaganda, it becomes so hard for me to believe in You and follow You. God, I’m begging you to give me faith and strength so that I could be strong in spirit. May You lead me to know how to deal with my husband’s obstructions. May You give me wisdom and grant me the words I should speak so that I can use the truth to counterattack Satan’s tricks, letting him know that my taking the path of believing in God is right.”
Why Does God Do His Work in Secret
Thank God for His enlightenment, that I had an inspiration: In order to make my husband lay aside his suspicion, I enrolled in some classes. He thought that I went out every day to attend classes, so he went back to work. Before long, my brothers and sisters learned of my situation so they found a place near my house to have meetings with me. I told my sisters about my problems, and we prayed and sought the truth together. They read me a passage of God’s words, “All of this work is carried out in your midst and opened up only to you; none among the unbelievers knows of this, for the time has not yet come. These people here are near to being made complete after enduring chastisements, but those on the outside know nothing of this. This work is much too hidden! To them, God become flesh is hidden, but to those in this stream, one can say that He is open. Although in God all is open, all is revealed, and all is set free, this is only true for those who believe in Him; as far as the rest, the unbelievers, are concerned, nothing is made known. The work being carried out here now is strictly closed in order to keep them from knowing. Should they become aware of this work, then all they would do is condemn it and subject it to persecution. They would not believe in it. To work in the nation of the great red dragon, this most backward of places, is no easy task. If this work were to be put out into the open, it would be impossible to continue. This stage of work simply cannot be carried out in this place. If this work were to be carried out in the open, how could they allow it to go forward? Would this not put the work under even greater risk? If this work were not concealed, but rather carried out as in the time of Jesus, when He spectacularly healed the sick and cast out demons, then would it not have long ago been ‘taken prisoner’ by the devils? Would they be able to tolerate the existence of God? If I were to now enter into the halls to preach and lecture man, then would I not have long ago been dashed to pieces? And if this had happened, how could My work have continued to be carried out? The reason that no signs and wonders are openly manifested at all is for the sake of concealment. So, to unbelievers, My work cannot be seen, known, or discovered. If this stage of work were to be done in the same manner as that of Jesus in the Age of Grace, it could not be so steady as it now is. So, to work secretly in this way is of benefit to you and to the work as a whole. When God’s work on earth comes to an end, that is, when this secret work concludes, then this stage of work will explode into the open. All will know that there are a group of overcomers in China; all will know that God become flesh is in China and that His work has come to an end.”
A sister fellowshiped, “Think back to the Age of Grace: When King Herod learned that the Lord Jesus was born in Bethlehem, because he was afraid of losing his throne, he killed all the male babies two years old and younger in Bethlehem. As we can see, people don’t know God, much less do they welcome God’s arrival; they are all resisting God.
“Later on, the Lord Jesus began to perform His ministry, preaching and spreading the gospel openly in various places. While He worked in public, He also did some work in secret. For example, Matthew 8:4 says: ‘Andto him, “See you tell no man; but go your way, show yourself to the priest, and offer the gift that Moses commanded, for a testimony to them.”’ And Matthew 16:13–20 say: ‘When Jesus came into the coasts of Caesarea Philippi, he asked his disciples, saying, “Whom do men say that I the Son of man am?” … And Simon Peter answered and said, “You are the Christ, the Son of the living God.” … Then charged he his disciples that they should tell no man that he was Jesus the Christ.’ From these verses we can see that the Lord Jesus also did work in secret based on the needs of His work; this is God’s wisdom. On the one hand, the identity of the Lord couldn’t be known by the public too early, lest it bring obstructions to His work; on the other hand, at that time the Pharisees were trying to arrest and frame Him everywhere, and the Lord’s work on earth had not yet been finished and the time for crucifixion had not yet come. Therefore, the Lord urged them not to tell other people what they had seen and heard, lest they disrupt God’s work.
“Today, God has returned to flesh to carry out His work in a secret way. What He is faced with is still the abandonment, resistance, and condemnation from us mankind. We don’t understand His work, so we think that since He is God and He comes to save man, then He should not work in secret, but should be open to all. We all know that even though the Lord Jesus worked in Judea where people believed in God, He was nailed to the cross in the end; now God does His work in the authoritarian and atheistic country—China, and how could it welcome God’s arrival and tolerate God’s existence? Even among the believers in God, how many of them have humbly sought and investigated to welcome God’s arrival?
“We all know that God’s thoughts are higher than man’s thoughts; His wisdom is unfathomable to man; all He does is love and salvation toward man. Thanks to His hidden work in the last days, we people who accept it can enjoy His words and gain His salvation in a relatively peaceful environment. The significance of God’s hidden work in the last days is too deep.”
Hearing the sister’s fellowship, my heart felt much brighter. I understood the significance of God’s hidden work: On the one hand, we mankind are corrupted too deeply, neither knowing God nor welcoming His arrival. Even though God’s work is so hidden, it is still condemned and slandered by the atheistic party and the religious world; if He worked openly in China, then His work would be met with much greater hindrance. Also, God performing His work in secret is for the sake of better expanding His work, so that more people could have the chance to come before Him and accept His salvation. This fully manifests the wisdom of His work and His love for mankind.
Hidden Within Trials Were God’s Good Intentions
At this time, I thought of another passage of God’s words, “God works, God cares for a person, looks upon a person, and Satan dogs His every step. Whoever God favors, Satan also watches, trailing along behind. If God wants this person, Satan would do everything in its power to obstruct God, using various evil ways to tempt, harass and wreck the work God does in order to achieve its hidden objective.” Today, God permitting my husband to persecute and obstruct me contained God’s good intentions; He used this environment to make me gain some true discernment about Satan’s evil plot. Satan just wanted to use my husband to tempt me, disturb me, and wreck my relationship with God. Its goal was to make me forsake God, return to its domain, and perish along with it in the end.
Thank God for His leadership. Now I finally had some understanding of this aspect of the truth, as well as confidence. So I prayed to God in my heart, “O God, thank You for Your leadership, allowing me to have some knowledge of Your will. May You give me confidence and strength so that I can use the truth to battle with Satan and withstand the disturbance and temptation next time, stand by Your side to satisfy Your will.”
My Heart Broke
One day, my husband came back from work. He changed his previously fierce attitude and persuaded me, “If you really want to believe in God, I can go to church with you. As long as you don’t believe in Almighty God, I’ll accompany you to whichever church you want to go.” I was clearly aware that it was another temptation from Satan, so I rejected him and said, “God has done a new work. The work of the Holy Spirit thereupon has shifted, no longer in the church of the Age of Grace. Only by following God’s new work can one be watered with the living water of life and follow the footsteps of the Lamb. Just like in the Age of Grace, when the Lord Jesus came to do the work of redemption, the Holy Spirit was no longer carrying out work in the temple, but upholding the work of the Lord Jesus. Only those who accepted the Lord Jesus’ work could gain His salvation. Nowadays, the Almighty God has expressed the truth of millions of words, disclosing all the mysteries in the Bible and showing us the criterion for being saved and the path of practice. Only by following God’s footsteps, experiencing His work and words, and gaining true knowledge of God can one cast off his corrupt disposition, being cleansed and being made perfect by God. You are always trying to stop me because you don’t understand God’s work. As long as you read more of the words of Almighty God, you will see that His words are indeed the truth, His work can truly transform us and save us.”
My husband saw that no matter how he persuaded me and still couldn’t shake my heart, he threatened me, saying, “If you insist on believing in God, I will divorce you.”
Hearing his words, I felt a stabbing pain in my heart. I never thought that he would say such unfeeling words. I thought: “If we get divorced, what about our children?” Thinking of this, I felt inexplicable pain in my heart, as if a knife was being twisted into it. I ran into our bedroom, and threw myself on the bed, wailing loudly.
Later, I recalled God’s words: “Faith is like a single log bridge, those who cling abjectly to life will have difficulty in crossing it, but those who are ready to sacrifice themselves can pass over without worry. If man has timid and fearful thoughts, they are being fooled by Satan. It fears that we will cross the bridge of faith to enter into God. Satan devises every way possible to send us its thoughts, we should always pray that the light of God will shine on us, and we must always rely on God to purify us from Satan’s poison. We shall always be practicing in our spirits to come close to God. We shall let God have dominion over our whole being.” God’s words gave me confidence and strength. Indeed, all things and all events are dictated and arranged by God, my marriage is also in His hands. Today, through these things God wants to test my faith and to see if I can satisfy Him. Satan grasped my fatal weakness—emotions, to threaten me, to make me scared of losing my family and husband so that I will abandon the true way and betray God. Satan is too despicable. In the time of my weakness and negativity, I must come before God, pray to Him, and rely on Him, or else I could very easily allow Satan to exploit my weakness, and do something betraying God.
Thinking of this, I dried my tears, stifled the pain in my heart, and said to my husband, “If you’ve resolved to divorce me, I respect your decision. But I’ll never stop believing in God. We have been married for ten years, and we still have feelings for each other. But, if you want to force me to abandon the true way with the threat of divorce, I won’t listen to you. Although I’m very sad and can’t understand why you are so cruel, I respect your decision.” After saying this, I was already choked with sobs. I lay prone on the bed, with a tearing pain in my heart.
Suffering Is a Form of God’s Blessing
Faced with the obstruction and persecution of my husband, I felt so weak and also confused: I just want to believe in God, pursue the truth and walk the right path of life, why is this so difficult? In a gathering, I spoke out about my confusion to my brothers and sisters, then a sister read me two passages of God’s words, “Do not be discouraged, do not be weak, I will reveal to you. The road to the kingdom is not that smooth, nothing is that simple! You want blessings to come easy, right? Today everyone will have bitter trials to face, otherwise the loving heart you have for Me will not grow stronger and you will not have true love for Me. Even if it is just minor circumstances, everyone must get through them, it’s just that they differ to some degree. The circumstance is one of My blessings.” “You must have My courage within you and you must have principles when facing relatives who do not believe. But for My sake, you must also not yield to any of the dark forces. Rely on My wisdom to walk the perfect way; do not allow the conspiracies of Satan to take hold. Put all your efforts into placing your heart before Me and I shall comfort you and give you peace and happiness in your heart. You shall not seek the approval of men; isn’t it more valuable and weighty to satisfy Me? In satisfying Me, won’t you even more have eternal and lifelong peace and happiness?” Then she fellowshiped, “Suffering persecution because of our faith in God is a blessing. We should not be distressed because we are persecuted. Instead, we should rejoice in being slandered and persecuted because we are blessed. Our persecution proves even more so that we believe in the true God and that what we uphold is the true way, because the true way has always faced persecution since ancient times. Furthermore, God’s wisdom is exercised based on Satan’s plots. From the outside, we are being hindered and persecuted by our family for our faith in God. However, God uses the persecution to gain those people who truly obey His work and to make perfect a group of overcomers. Now, you encounter your husband’s obstruction and persecution; this is God’s trial and also Satan’s temptation. We must pray to and rely on God more so that we can bear beautiful resounding witness for Him.”
At this moment, thinking of the rumors on the Internet—the believers in Almighty God don’t care about their families—I was furious. Clearly, the fact was that Satan made up rumors to set my husband against me, to cause him to develop a notion about God and then block me from coming before God, ultimately leading to the breakup of my family. Yet, it distorted the facts, shamelessly said that the breakup of believers’ family was due to their believing in God, and attempted to use this to make me give up my faith. Satan is so insidious, so venomous, and so despicable. Thinking of this, I felt more hatred for Satan and made my resolution to follow God. At the same time, I saw that the rumors were actually the fuse of my family breaking apart and the stumbling block to my coming before God. Although my heart would ache with dull pain and my tears would uncontrollably fall at the thought of my two children, I knew very well that God rules over everything, so all I could do was deliver them to God.
Faith Completed Through Hardship
Later on, my husband really asked me for a divorce. After the divorce, he still tried to persuade me and said to me that if only I gave up my faith, he would promise to do everything my way in the future. His words made me feel a little shaken, thinking if I compromised then I could be with my children. But then I had a second thought: Believing in God is the right path of life. You want me to leave God? It’s impossible. So we parted with each other on bad terms. Due to his hard attitude, I felt very miserable. I often wished that if only he could change his attitude and support my belief, that would be wonderful. Every time I thought of this, I felt very weak and often prayed to God in tears.
One day, I read the following words of God: “If they wish to be saved, and wish to be completely gained by God, then all those who follow God must face temptations and attacks both great and small from Satan. Those who emerge from these temptations and attacks and are able to fully defeat Satan are those who have been saved by God. Which is to say, those who have been saved unto God are those who have undergone God’s trials, and who have been tempted and attacked by Satan an untold number of times. Those who have been saved unto God understand God’s will and requirements, and are able to acquiesce to God’s sovereignty and arrangements, and they do not forsake the way of fearing God and shunning evil amid Satan’s temptations. Those who are saved unto God possess honesty, they are kindhearted, they differentiate between love and hate, they have a sense of justice and are rational, and they are able to care for God and treasure all that is of God. Such people are not bound, spied upon, accused, or abused by Satan, they are completely free, they have been completely liberated and released. Job was just such a man of freedom, and this is precisely the significance of why God had handed him over to Satan.” I recalled that the reason why Job was able to shake off the accusation and temptation of Satan was because of his faith in and fear of God. When he lost his sons and daughters and property, he still bowed down before God and worshiped Him; even when his body became covered in sore boils and when his wife said to him: “Curse God, and die!” Job still replied, “You ignorant and stubborn woman!” Job’s perfection and uprightness expressed during his trials are exactly what I should follow. Satan knew that emotions were my fatal flaw, so it often used them to disturb me and tempt me, which made me live in negativity and weakness and thus lost faith in God because I was unable to let my children and my family go. Nevertheless, God’s will was to test my faith and my love for Him so that eventually I could give my all to God and obey His sovereignty and arrangements like Job, and Satan would have no chance to accuse me and would naturally withdraw in shame. Only then could I completely get free from the afflictions of Satan, and obtain true release and freedom.
After understanding God’s will, I came before God and prayed: “O God, what I encounter today is the temptation of Satan, but it was still sanctioned by You. You are using this situation to test me to see if I have true faith in You. Although I feel very distressed and weak, I’m still willing to obey Your sovereignty and arrangements, and entrust my marriage and family to You. No matter what kind of trials come upon me, I’ll stand testimony for You.”
After a period of time, my husband suddenly called me and said, “Let’s go to the court to revoke the application for divorce.” Hearing this, I was surprised, asking him, “Why did you change your mind?” He said helplessly, “To be honest, I never thought that you would be so stubborn. No matter how I tried to persuade you, you didn’t change your mind. My asking for a divorce was just to scare you into giving up your belief in God, yet it still didn’t work. Since you are so resolute in your belief, I’ll not hinder you anymore. I don’t want my children to live in a single-parent home. As long as you take care of them, it’ll be ok. As for the rest, I won’t pay any mind.” At his words, I felt indescribably happy. I knew this was God’s deeds, I praised God’s great power repeatedly in my heart. Then I said to my husband, “You can trust me on that. Our children are very dear to my heart. All of you are equally important to me. As long as you don’t oppose my faith in God, our family will certainly be happy.”
Afterward, I read these God’s words, “Without God’s permission, it is difficult for Satan to touch even a drop of water or grain of sand upon the land; without God’s permission, Satan is not even free to move the ants about upon the land—let alone mankind, who was created by God. In the eyes of God, Satan is inferior to the lilies on the mountain, to the birds flying in the air, to the fish in the sea, and to the maggots on the earth. Its role among all things is to serve all things, and work for mankind, and serve God’s work and His plan of management.”
Through these experiences, I saw that God’s wisdom is exercised based on Satan’s plots and that Satan is just a tool in God’s hand and a serving object used by God to cleanse me. Also, I saw the authority of God’s words: When I was weak and passive, it was God’s words that gave me confidence and strength, making me stand firm again; when I faced temptations, it was God’s words that led me to penetrate Satan’s deception step by step so that I could bear witness for God and humiliate Satan. Although Satan is always trying everything to disturb and destroy God’s work, God is always by my side, using His words to guide me along the path ahead.
Thanks be to God! I now have resumed my life of the church and performed my duty of a created being. Thank God for His grace. I live every day in the resplendent light of God’s love and feel immeasurably blessed. Glory be to Almighty God.