My Heart Has Stopped Wandering

Pen    Philippines

My name is Pen, and I am a Filipino. From childhood I followed my mother to believe in God, and went to church to listen to sermons together with my brothers and sisters. Despite many years of believing in God, I felt I was no different from the unbelievers, as I was preoccupied with how to make more money and live a better life all day. Besides, I frequently went drinking with my friends, and once I had spare money, I would go gambling. Though I often prayed to God and promised to get rid of my bad habits, never once did I take any action. Later, I became more and more fallen, and rather than pray to God with sincerity, I just perfunctorily made several simple prayers every week. Though aware that I had done no good, I could hardly free myself from them. Sometimes I sank into despair, thinking that God would no longer forgive me, as I knew that when the Lord came back, He would judge each person and determine whether their outcomes are ascending to heaven or going to hell according to their actions and deeds. Later on, I got married and had children. With my head full of my wife and children all the time, I had long cast belief in God behind. For the sake of the future of my children, I decided to work abroad to realize my wish of making my fortune. Then I went to Taiwan and got a job. However, I still lived like the unbelievers with my lifestyle unchanged. At my leisure, I would go out for drinking and singing karaoke with my colleagues, idling away my time in pleasure-seeking.

In 2011, I worked as an electric welder in a factory in Taiwan. One day in 2012, a colleague from Taiwan asked me if I was a Catholic, and I told her that I was. Afterward, she invited me to go to church. On a Sunday morning, she came very early to our factory to pick me up and took me to her friend’s house. At that time, Brother Joseph asked me, “Brother, do you believe in the Lord Jesus’ second coming?” “Yes, I do.” I answered. Next he asked another question, “And do you know what work the Lord Jesus will do when He comes again?” I replied, “He will judge mankind, divide them into their kinds, and then determine whether they shall ascend to heaven or go to hell.” Brother Joseph went on to ask, “If we tell you that the Lord Jesus has come back and is doing the work of judgment, will you believe it?” I was astonished at his words, thinking, “Has the Lord Jesus come back? Where is the Lord? It’s impossible. Won’t the Lord come back to judge us? Why haven’t I seen the judgment before the great white throne?” But I didn’t immediately put these questions to them, as I thought God’s judgment was a mystery, His wisdom was unfathomable to man, and my opinion was not necessarily right; I’d better listen to their views first. So I answered, “I have no idea.” Then they found many verses in the Bible for me to read. Two of these verses were: He that rejects me, and receives not my words, has one that judges him: the word that I have spoken, the same shall judge him in the last day” (John 12:48). “For the time is come that judgment must begin at the house of God” (1 Peter 4:17). I read them attentively, and I believed all these verses they shared with me were true, for I knew that the Bible was the record of God’s work.

Following that, Brother Joseph read two passages of Almighty God’s words to me, “The work of judgment is God’s own work, so it must naturally be done by God Himself; it cannot be done by man in His stead. Because judgment is the conquering of man through the truth, it is unquestionable that God still appears as the incarnate image to do this work among men. That is to say, in the last days, Christ shall use the truth to teach men around the earth and to make all truths known to them. This is God’s work of judgment.” “In the last days, Christ uses a variety of truths to teach man, reveal the essence of man, and dissect his words and deeds. These words comprise various truths, such as man’s duty, how man should obey God, how man should be loyal to God, how man ought to live out the normal humanity, as well as the wisdom and disposition of God, and so on. These words are all focused on the essence of man and his corrupt disposition. In particular, those words that reveal how man spurns God are spoken in regards to how man is an embodiment of Satan and an enemy force against God. When God does the work of judgment, He does not simply make clear the nature of man with just a few words, but carries out revelation, dealing, and pruning over the long term. Such manner of revelation, dealing, and pruning cannot be substituted with ordinary words but with the truth that man does not possess at all. Only such manner of work is deemed judgment; only through such judgment can man be persuaded, be thoroughly convinced into submission to God, and gain true knowledge of God. What the work of judgment brings about is man’s understanding of the true face of God and the truth about his rebelliousness. The work of judgment allows man to gain much understanding of the will of God, of the purpose of God’s work, and of the mysteries that could not be understood by man. It also allows man to recognize and know his corrupt substance and the roots of his corruption, as well as to discover the ugliness of man. These effects are all brought about by the work of judgment, for the substance of such work is actually the work of opening up the truth, way, and life of God to all those who have faith in Him. This work is the work of judgment done by God” (“Christ Does the Work of Judgment With the Truth” in The Word Appears in the Flesh). After reading these words of God, they fellowshiped much with me.

From Almighty God’s words, I understood that God’s work is quite practical, and that His work of judgment in the last days is not as I have imagined: He will set up a big table in the sky, and sit upon a great white throne, with all people standing in front of Him, then He will list all their sins one by one and condemn them and decide their fate. But instead, God has practically become flesh and expressed the words to reveal peoples corruption and judge their sins, so that they will recognize their corrupt nature so as to cast away their sinful nature within, end their miserable life of committing sins by day and confessing them by night, and gain true knowledge of God, thereby being cleansed and saved. Only then will people be qualified to enter the kingdom of heaven. And those, who don’t accept God’s work of judgment in the last days and are unchanged in their life disposition, will eventually be cast into the lake of fire. I thought: Such judgment accords with the actual needs of man. If people are, according to my former notions and imaginations, judged one by one and then their outcomes are established, then how could their sins be removed? The Scripture says, … holiness, without which no man shall see the Lord” (Hebrews 12:14). The Lord is holy, and man is not worthy to see the Lord’s face unless his sins are cleansed. So the work of Almighty God is very likely to be that of the returned Lord Jesus, and that Almighty God was very likely to be the returned Lord Jesus. I should give a careful investigation so as not to miss the opportunity of seeing the Lord’s coming.

Afterward, they gave me a book named The Word Appears in the Flesh. That night, after going back to my dorm, I started to read God’s words and spent a whole night on them. I read Almighty God’s words saying, “Your mouths are filled with words of deceit and filth, of betrayal and haughtiness. Never have you spoken words of sincerity and holiness to Me, nor the words of experiencing My word and obeying Me. What faith is this? Your hearts are filled with desires and wealth; your minds are filled with material things. Every day, you calculate how to gain from Me, assessing how much wealth and how many material things you have gained from Me. Every day, you await ever more blessings to come down upon you so that you may enjoy more and greater pleasurable things. That which is in your thoughts every moment is not Me or the truth that comes from Me, but rather your husband (wife), sons, daughters, or what you eat and wear, and how you can enjoy even better, greater pleasure. Even if you stuff your stomach to the brim, are you not still little more than a corpse? Even if you adorn your form gloriously, are you not still a walking corpse that has no life? You toil for the sake of your stomach until gray hairs are upon you, yet none are willing to sacrifice a single hair for My work. You journey, toil, and rack your brain for your flesh, and for your sons and daughters, yet none worry about or give thought to what is in My heart and mind. What do you wish to gain from Me?” (“Many Are Called, but Few Are Chosen” in The Word Appears in the Flesh). Feeling these words pierced my heart like a sword, I realized that only God can observe the depths of man’s heart, and that only God is able to disclose man’s corruption. I thought Almighty God’s words were exactly God’s utterances. From these words of God, I came to realize: In the past when I believed in God, I was filled with lies and covetous intentions inwardly. I only acknowledged God’s name, but I didn’t have God in my heart, and was constantly concerned about my family, my work, and my future. I’ve been racking my brains every day about how to make more money and give my family a better life. I frequently promised God to love Him, but I just failed to live up to my words, always deceiving Him; worse still, I prayed to God for more blessings even when I went to church on Sunday. I thought God was a God eternally forgiving of man, so all the sins that I had done might be forgiven. Through Almighty God’s word, I felt and knew God’s disposition is righteous and holy and does not tolerate any man’s offense. I told myself: I will accept the judgment of God to free myself from the lifestyle of committing sins and confessing them; I will satisfy God’s will rather than satisfy my own desires. I will read and ponder Almighty God’s words more in order to better forsake my flesh. The judgment and chastisement of God’s word left me overcome with remorse. Terribly grieved, I burst into tears in bed. For the first time, I prayed to God in weeping, “O God! I beg Your forgiveness for what I have done wrong. I have resisted and deceived You in everything I did; I’m unworthy to ask You to be with me, but rather, I deserve to be punished. If You would grant me an opportunity, I will strive to pursue to love You with a true heart, and seek to gain more knowledge of Your disposition and fulfill Your will as well.”

From then on, I went to work with the book of Almighty God’s words, and I read God’s words and pondered them if I had free time. Through Almighty God’s words, I came to realize how disobedient I was in my thoughts and behaviors. Once I read these words of Almighty God, “You should pray, step-by-step, in accordance with your true state and that which is to be done by the Holy Spirit, and you should commune with God in keeping with God’s will and His requirements of man. When you begin practicing your prayers, first give your heart to God. Do not attempt to grasp God’s will; only try to speak the words within your heart to God. When you come before God, speak thus: ‘O God! Only today do I realize that I used to disobey You. I am truly corrupt and despicable. Before, I was wasting my time; starting from today I will live for You, I will live out a life of meaning, and satisfy Your will. I would that Your Spirit always works within me, and always illuminates and enlightens me, so that I can bear strong and resounding testimony before You, allowing Satan to see Your glory, Your testimony, and the proof of Your triumph within us.’ When you pray in this way, your heart will be completely set free, having prayed in this way, your heart will be closer to God …” (“Concerning the Practice of Prayer” in The Word Appears in God). From them I found the way of practice to resolve my corrupt disposition. So I began to pray to God from within my heart in all sincerity. And when I prayed in this way, I often found myself under the guidance of God. I no longer lived like before, neither did I act according to my corrupt thoughts and ideas. In result, my life had undergone great changes. The life of committing sins and making confession was gone, replaced by a life living in God’s light. Now I’m pursuing to deal with others and handle things in accordance with the requirements of God’s word, and I live rather happily. As Almighty God’s word has shown me the right life goals, I no longer rack my brains to chase after living a prosperous life or standing out among others as before; instead, I pursue the truth to cast off my corrupt disposition so as to be made clean and obtain salvation, and seek to obey God’s word in everything I encounter, and fulfill my duty of a created being to repay God’s love. In July 2014, I returned to the Philippines. I’m also grateful to God for preparing so many brothers and sisters here. Now I live the church life with my brothers and sisters in the Church of Almighty God. And we eat and drink God’s words together, help each other, and support each other in entry into life. Meanwhile, we are making efforts to testify to the people of our country as well as other countries in the world that the Lord Jesus has come back. Thanks be to Almighty God! Amen!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *