Experience God’s Love-God Saved Me From Misery and Confusion

Xiaoqin    Japan

In my childhood, my father often drank a lot, and after he got drunk, he would beat my mother or abused us siblings; this left a shadow of fear on my mind. When I grew up, I specially sympathized with those whose hearts once suffered trauma. Later I met my husband. He saw a gentleness in me, and so married me. After the marriage, however, he gradually changed. When things came up, he often argued with me on the grounds of the cultural difference. I was tolerant and patient toward him, while he became more strong-willed, making his own decision on everything. What he did often left me speechless with resentment. I could do nothing but bury all the misery in my heart. Sometimes I cried bitterly in secret, as I had no one to pour out my grievance to.

In 2015, I was in great misery. At that time I got pregnant with my second child. Because I had severe morning sickness, I went to the hospital for examination, and the doctor told me to prevent miscarriage. follow God’s footstepsIt so happened that I got a nettle rash all over. After that, I had a cough and then developed bronchitis. I also often had diarrhea, and my blood sugar level was high. What’s more, my young daughter often got fever and caught cold in the nursery school. I was tormented beyond words and almost cracked up. Just when I had no way out, the mother of one of my daughter’s classmates preached to me the gospel of the Lord Jesus, and I saw this word of His: “Come to me, all you that labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest” (Matthew 11:28). I was deeply touched by the word. I attended the church, and through hearing the sermon there, I knew the Lord Jesus’ love and redemption, and so I accepted Him as my Savior. Gradually I had the faith for preventing miscarriage of my baby and was much philosophical about my husband’s words and deeds. I appreciated the Lord’s salvation from my heart. Every time when I felt miserable or was hurt, I would pray to the Lord and ask for His help. Then I would feel comforted and have more confidence in life.

Not long after I began to go to the church, however, I felt no more love there. Whoever I talked to replied in a cold and indifferent manner. What they talked about most were things in their personal lives, such as finding someone a job, doing business, enrolling their kids in nurseries, and so on, and I felt that they were no different from the unbelievers. I couldn’t feel enjoyment in that Chinese church, so I went to a Japanese church, hoping to get some supply. However, I noticed that the believers of many years there, whether they be believers of ten years or believers of thirty years, simply attended the meetings when they pleased and absented themselves when they didn’t, and some believers even fell into a doze during the gatherings. Seeing such a situation in the church, I lost half of my zeal for believing in the Lord Jesus. Although I also didn’t get any supply in the Japanese church, I didn’t deny the salvation of the Lord, and still wished to find a good church. So I downloaded some interpretations of the Bible in Chinese from the internet. However, no matter how many interpretations I listened to, I didn’t have peace or joy in my heart, and my prayers were dry. Once when I was listening to the sermon on the internet, the preacher told us to seek to pray in tongues. So I pinned my hope on praying in tongues, wishing to recover my faith. However, I couldn’t pray in tongues like others no matter how hard I tried. Gradually I saw that the tongues those people prayed in were not understandable, and I didn’t feel that their praying in tongues could bring me closer to the Lord. … I also tried other ways to find a good church, but to no avail. So I had no faith to seek anymore, but just prayed to the Lord at home myself.

At the end of October, 2016, Jiang Xue, a Christian friend of mine, told me that her cousin (a preacher) was coming to Japan on a business trip and that she would take this opportunity to ask him to interpret the Bible. She invited me to join her. I was very glad to hear that her cousin was coming, for I was eager to listen to his preaching, hoping to get some supply in my spirit. That day, Brother Li, Jiang Xue’s cousin, after finding out our condition, told us that he quite understood it, and he said, “I used to be thirsty in spirit too. It is through the actual words of God that I have received the provision of life. … Do you know? Our longed-for Lord Jesus has come back!” Hearing him say that the Lord Jesus is back, I felt both surprised and pleased because I had been longing for the Lord to come to take me. So I listened to him carefully. He said, “The Lord Jesus has returned to do new work, to judge and purify mankind by expressing His words. Anyone who hears His voice and seeks will receive the provision of life from God and obtain God’s salvation in the last days. The Lord Jesus redeemed man and forgave his sins, but man’s sinful nature still exists within him. For example, the arrogance and self-conceit, crookedness and craftiness, selfishness and baseness, and so on—these satanic dispositions still remain rooted within people, though they have had some external changes like being tolerant and patient toward others and being able to endure hardship. When God’s work doesn’t accord with their illusions, they still can produce notions about God and disobey and resist Him. In the last days, Almighty God has come to continue on from the Lord Jesus’ work. He has carried out the work of judgment beginning with the house of God to judge and purify people and separate all according to their kind. After I read two passages of Almighty God’s word, you will understand this better. Almighty God says, ‘The work of the last days is to separate all according to their kind, to conclude the management plan of God, for the time is near and the day of God has come. God brings all who have entered His kingdom, that is, all those who have been loyal to Him to the end, into the age of God Himself. However, before the coming of the age of God Himself, the work that God desires to do is not to observe the deeds of man or to inquire about the lives of man, but to judge his rebellion, for God shall purify all those who come before His throne. All those who have followed the footsteps of God to this day are those who have come before the throne of God, hence all who accept the last of God’s work are those to be purified by God. In other words, all those who accept the last of God’s work are those who will be judged by God’” (“Christ Does the Work of Judgment With the Truth” in The Word Appears in the Flesh).

When hearing this, I got rather confused. “When God comes to judge man, isn’t it that He will reward the good and punish the wicked? The good will be saved and have no suffering anymore and the wicked will be cast into hell, so how can it be that those who come before the throne of God will be those who will be judged by God?” When I was thinking about it, Brother Li continued to read, “As previously spoken of, judgment would begin with the house of God. This ‘judgment’ refers to the judgment God does today on those who come before His throne in the last days. Perhaps there are those who believe in such supernatural imaginings as that when the last days have arrived, God will erect a big table in the heavens, upon which a white tablecloth will be spread, then God will sit upon a great throne and all men will kneel on the ground. God shall then reveal all sins laid against each man to determine whether he shall ascend to heaven or be sent down to the lake that burns with fire and brimstone. No matter what the imaginings of man, the substance of God’s work cannot be altered. The imaginings of man are nothing but the constructs of man’s thoughts and come from the brain of man, summed up and pieced together from what man has seen and heard. Therefore I say, however brilliant the images conceived, they are still no more than a drawing and no substitute for the plan of God’s work. After all, all of man has been corrupted by Satan, so how can he then fathom the thoughts of God?” (“Christ Does the Work of Judgment With the Truth” in The Word Appears in the Flesh). Hearing this, I thought, “These words are so practical. I believed that when God came to judge people, the wicked would be destroyed in hell, the believers in the Lord would be taken into heaven, and those old, weak, sick, or disabled believers in the Lord would become healthy instantly and be saved too. Could this view be wrong?”

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