I Didn’t Rush About for Money After an Accident

By Yangguang, United States

ran a cow farmFrom childhood I lived a quite affluent life. After graduation I found a job in a decent company. And later my married life was also quite blissful. Moreover, I ran a cow farm which could produce more than 500 kilos of milk per day and it brought me big profits every year. Therefore, my family was comparatively rich in my hometown. In those days, my relatives and friends all admired me and they often came to visit me with gifts. I felt I was living an honorable and decent life.

Just when I was bathed in the joy of success, a misfortune befell my family. In 2007, my father suddenly became ill with cerebral thrombosis. I sent him into the best hospital, and it cost me a huge amount of money. Yet he passed away 13 months later anyway. One month after his death when I was still in grief, my husband was suddenly diagnosed with lung cancer and needed to have surgery right away. The cost of less than a month’s fees was more than 100 thousand yuan. Not long after, the “SANLU TAINTED MILK SCANDAL” was exposed by the news. Then the government demanded milk processing plants to stop production and reorganize. Thus, a difficulty of selling milk arose among all cow farms. Milk was thrown out due to no purchasers. The business of dairy farming gradually sank into recession. My family also suffered a large financial loss.

In face of these continuous blows, I felt painful and helpless. It was as if my life suddenly fell from heaven to hell. My husband’s treatment fees and working fund in business almost exhausted my savings. Later, I turned to my relatives for financial help, and never did I think that they declined with various excuses after knowing my family’s situation. Only a few friends promised to lend me the money to help me survive it. Faced with the indifference of people, I was bitterly disappointed. Thinking back to when I was rich, they always called upon me and bear gifts every now and then. However, nowadays when I was without money, they treated me with such coldness and ruthlessness. It was indeed as people said, “In time of prosperity, friends will be plenty; in time of adversity, not one amongst twenty.” Only then did I see clearly that people were devoid of genuine affection and only interacted with each other to gain benefits. At that moment, I made a resolution in my heart: I must strive to make money and stand up for myself. Only when I become rich can I gain people’s regard and live with dignity.

After that, I began to put my resolution into practice. Because my husband was ill and could not work, I had to shoulder all the burdens of my family. So not only did I have to work, but I also had to take care of household affairs. Afterward, SANLU TAINTED MILK SCANDAL gradually blew over. So my business in the farm began to pick up. Accordingly, I moved to live near the farm. Every day I got to work at 2am, and delivered the milk into the town at 4:30am, and then I rushed to work in the company. And after I got home at night, I had to do chores. I was often too busy to eat and could only sleep for 3 or 4 hours a day. I was just like a machine that kept running unceasingly. In those days, I often felt weary both physically and mentally. But for the sake of leading a superior life, I often exhorted myself: I should persist and not let others look down on me. As long as I become rich, I can stand up for myself.

A few years later, my efforts got rewarded. The condition of my family was gradually getting better, and my son had established household and started a career. My relatives and friends all spoke highly of my competence. On hearing this, I felt that all those years of efforts were not in vain and money really made a difference. Yet Just then, my husband had a relapse. The treatment cost me a great fortune, so I had to work even harder. I believed that as long as I worked hard, I could get the money back. However, no matter how hard I tried, the money was always not enough for expenses. I didn’t want to borrow money from others and monitor their expressions, so I continued working after retirement.

In 2016, my husband suddenly became ill again. I rushed about pulling strings to find fine doctor for him. After some twists and turns, little remained of the money I had earned. Because of the pressure of life as well as my husband’s bad temper towards me due to his unstable motion which was resulted from his illness, I felt depressed and painful. Later, in order not to be looked down on by others, I decided to go abroad to make money. At first I went to Japan, but later I found out the pay was not high and the work was hard. Then I made arrangements for coming to the US. After I came here, I found a job soon. But it required more than 10 hours of work each day. Though the work was toilsome, my monthly pay was quite high. In order to make enough money as soon as possible, I barely took days off. Every day I was tired out. In those days, I always thought: Does man live just to make money? What’s the meaning of such a life?

In November 2016, I was honored to accept the gospel of the kingdom of Almighty God. Once when I was having a gathering with brothers and sisters, I saw God’s word: “The fate of man is controlled by the hands of God. You are incapable of controlling yourself: Despite always rushing and busying about for himself, man remains incapable of controlling himself. If you could know your own prospects, if you could control your own fate, would you still be a creature?” “Because people do not recognize God’s orchestrations and God’s sovereignty, they always face fate defiantly, with a rebellious attitude, and always want to cast off God’s authority and sovereignty and the things fate has in store, hoping in vain to change their current circumstances and alter their fate. But they can never succeed; they are thwarted at every turn. This struggle, which takes place deep in one’s soul, is painful; the pain is unforgettable; and all the while one is frittering away one’s life. What is the cause of this pain? Is it because of God’s sovereignty, or because a person was born unlucky? Obviously neither is true. At bottom, it is because of the paths people take, the ways people choose to live their lives.

Through God’s words and the sisters’ fellowship, I came to understand that our fate is controlled by the hand of God. How much money we possess in life and whether our family is wealthy or poor are all predestined by God, and cannot be changed by man’s efforts. And I also came to understand the root of my suffering: I lived my life according to Satan’s perspectives, which are “One’s destiny is in his own hand,” and “Man can create a pleasant homeland by his own hands,” and utterly had no knowledge of God’s sovereignty, so that I always wanted to cast off His sovereignty and rely on my own hands to alter my fate. Recalling these years when my family encountered misfortunes and my business was decaying, I always thought that I could make a comeback as long as I strived hard. So in order to rise above others and live a life of superiors, I had always rushed and busied about. However, until I had worn myself out both physically and mentally, I still had not realized the wish. Now I have understood that I am a created being, only if I obey God’s sovereignty and arrangements can I live a free and liberated life.

I had knew that man’s fate is controlled by the hand of God, but I understood too little of truth, so I still thought that in this money-centered society no money meant no status, and that with money one could gain others’ regard and hold his head high before others. Therefore, I still busied myself about working and making money and barely had time to read God’s word. When the sisters asked me to spare more time to attend gatherings, I refused because I thought it would delay my making money.

At the end of November, 2017, when I was off duty, I went back to my registered permanent residence to get my driver’s license and intended to come back to work the next day. Without my own house there, I stayed at a hotel with the bathroom on the second floor. After finishing my shower, I accidently fell down while I was walking down the stair. Suddenly an unbearable pain attacked my waist and I could barely move. I thought to myself: Oh! I’m finished! My waist must have been broken. I used to have a slipped disk; I must become crippled after this fall. I have no family here. What should I do if I become crippled? At the thought of this, I was very worried and afraid as well as desolate and helpless. The owner of the hotel took me to the hospital. After some examinations, the doctor said to me: “At your age, after having a nasty spill, you are very lucky that it is just a dislocation and a small fracture of the tailbone.” After hearing his words, I was touched in the heart because I knew that it was God who had protected me. For if not, I might become crippled for life. I thanked God a lot.

Later, the brothers and sisters came to see me. I told them about the accident from the beginning to end. Then a sister fellowshiped with me: “It contains God’s will that you encountered the accident. Through it, God gives us an admonition that we humans cannot control our own fate. However, after we were corrupted by Satan, we always want to realize our ambition by striving hard. We don’t believe in God’s sovereignty and do not know our insignificance. Therefore, we always stubbornly struggle against fate, and naturally we fail all the time. You had been busy with work recently, and paid no attention to attending gatherings, having no proper relationship with God and living under Satan’s deceit and corruption, and having lost God’s blessings. Everything we encounter contains God’s good intentions, so we should come before God to reflect ourselves.” After hearing her fellowship, I came to understand it was God’s salvation for me that I encountered this accident. Though I have believed in Him, I still devoted all my mind to making money, and barely had time to read His word or attend gatherings, and my heart had strayed away from Him. If it were not for God’s protection, I might have become a cripple. At that point, even if I had a lot of money, what use would it be? It cannot buy my health back. Thus, I decided to have gatherings and read God’s word regularly from then on. But I was confused: Why I cannot let go of money when I have truly known my fate is controlled by God?

Bible, pencil

Later, I read God’s word: “‘Money makes the mare go’ is the philosophy of Satan and it prevails among every human society. You could say that it is a trend because it has been imparted to everyone and is now affixed in their heart. People went from not accepting this saying to growing used to it so that when they came into contact with real life, they gradually gave tacit approval to it, acknowledged its existence and finally, they gave it their own seal of approval. … So after Satan uses this trend to corrupt people, how is it manifested in them? Don’t you feel that you couldn’t survive one day in this world without any money, that even one day would just be impossible? (Yes.) People’s status is based on how much money they have as is their respectability. The backs of the poor are bent in shame, while the rich enjoy their high status. They stand tall and proud, speaking loudly and living arrogantly. What does this saying and trend bring to people? Don’t many people see getting money as being worth any cost? Don’t many people sacrifice their dignity and integrity in the pursuit of more money? … To what degree has this saying affected you? You might know the true way, you might know truth, but you are powerless to pursue it. You might clearly know the word of God, but you are unwilling to pay the price, unwilling to suffer to pay the price. Instead, you would rather sacrifice your own future and destiny to go against God to the very end. No matter what God says, no matter what God does, no matter how much you realize that God’s love for you is deep and great, you would still stubbornly stay the course and pay the price for this saying. What this means is that this saying already controls your behavior and your thoughts, and you would rather have your fate controlled by this saying than give it all up. People do this, they are controlled by this saying and manipulated by it. Isn’t this the effect of Satan corrupting man? Isn’t this the philosophy and corrupt disposition of Satan taking root in your heart? If you do this, hasn’t Satan achieved its goal? (Yes.)”

People spend their lives chasing after money and fame; they clutch at these straws, thinking they are their only means of support, as if by having them they could keep on living, could exempt themselves from death. But only when they are close to dying do they realize how distant these things are from them, how weak they are in the face of death, how easily they shatter, how lonely and helpless they are, with nowhere to turn. They realize that life cannot be bought with money or fame, that no matter how wealthy a person is, no matter how lofty his or her position is, all people are equally poor and inconsequential in the face of death. They realize that money cannot buy life, that fame cannot erase death, that neither money nor fame can lengthen a person’s life by a single minute, a single second.

What God’s word reveals was just my true condition. In my opinion I thought that only if I had plenty of money could I live with dignity and win others’ regard, that without money even if I had good character, I would have no status in the society and people would look down on me. So in order to gain people’s regard and live a life admired by others, I worked from dawn to dusk. But I was never satisfied even when I had made some money, and wanted to make even more money. So I kept rushing and busying about for money, as if I had become a money-making machine. I tired myself out every day and lived with no happiness at all. Even though I had believed in God, I didn’t pursue the truth, much less did I see the value and meaning of the truth to us humans. So I didn’t want to attend gatherings or read God’s word, still pouring all my heart into making money. Only now have I understood: All these sayings such as “Money is first,” “Money makes the world go round,” “Money means everything,” and “A man dies for money; a bird dies for food”—they are all Satan’s lies to confuse man. Satan inculcates our heart with these lies and makes it gradually become our life. So we are tempted to pursue money and fame, and are enslaved by money, devoting our life to it willingly. Satan uses this means to confuse, lure and control us step by step, making us stray away from and betray God, and eventually be devoured by it, this is its vicious intention.

I thought of many millionaires, high officials and movie stars. They are all very rich and admired by a lot of people, but some of them get incurable disease, some of them do drugs or commit suicide. Their money and fame failed in exchanging for their health and life, let alone filling the emptiness of their heart. At this moment, I saw more clearly that what pursuing money eventually brings is all pains, and that having money does not mean possessing all things, because no matter how much money we own or how high our status is, it cannot make any difference in face of death. What use of plenty of money and high reputation and status when we have lost our life? Thanks for God’s timely salvation that makes me see clearly through Satan’s various means and ways of corrupting man. Otherwise, I too would go down the same path and eventually be played with and harmed by it. By then it would be too late to repent. At the thought of this, I was full of gratitude for God in my heart, and then I came before God to pray: “God! I will not listen to Satan’s lies to forfeit my life for money anymore. I am willing to obey Your sovereignty and arrangements, and commit everything to You and strive to pursue the truth, living out a life of value and meaning.” At that moment, I felt relieved and free throughout my whole being.

The following days, I would read God’s words and attended gatherings whenever I had time. The brothers and sisters came to see me and looked after me every day. They also cooked for me and took me to the hospital for reexamination at regular time. They expected no reward and never did they say that they are too tired. Seeing these, I was touched. I knew if it were not for God’s love, who would take care of me expecting no reward? I could not hire any caretaker like them who looked after me so thoughtfully. Then I thought of God’s word: “Their lives in this world are not alone. Mankind has God’s care, God is with them; people can always lean on God; He is the family of every one of His followers. With God to lean on, mankind will no longer be lonely or helpless ….” That’s right, God has always been by my side as my ever-present help and reliance. After the accident, my family who were far away could not help me and the friends around me just asked after me. Only God has been by my side, guiding and helping me. These days through gatherings and fellowshiping God’s words with the brothers and sisters, I no longer felt lonely, but very happy, and had enjoyed the warmth of family. When I thought of these, I rejoiced that I could come before God. Recall since I believed in God, I did not focus on attending gatherings or reading God’s word but devoted all my heart to work and making money. However, God did not look at my rebellion but cared for and protected me when I had my accident, and He also enlightened and guided me with His words, making me turn around from the wrong path of pursuing money. His love for man is true and absolutely unconditional. I must read His words more and attend gatherings more from now on. I must focus on knowing His will, and not fail His love for me.

Three months later, I was almost recovered. When I went back to the hospital for reexamination, the doctor was amazed by my rapid recovery. But I knew it was all wonderful deeds of God. Now I have understood that no matter how much money one possesses, it cannot buy his safety or life. Only by obeying God’s sovereignty and arrangements and pursuing the truth under the guidance of His words can we live out a life of value and meaning. If it were not for God’s timely salvation, I would still refuse His care and protection and rush and busy about for money, and ultimately die for money. I thank God for His salvation.

Dear brothers and sisters, if you have any understanding or enlightenment from God, welcome to share with us via:1. The online chat window at the bottom of the website. 2. Send an email to [email protected].We sincerely hope we’ll grow spiritually through sharing with each other.

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