By Yang Laidi I’m Yang Laidi, sixty-two years old this year. In 1985, because my husband had health problems, our […]
Who Has Reconciled Me With My Mother-in-Law?
I am a young woman of the post-1980 generation. Because I’d been terribly spoiled since childhood and developed a lazy and selfish disposition, I often quarreled with my family over trivial matters after marriage, turning on the drama at home, and we could hardly get along well…. Only when I accepted ’s work of the last days, did I finally understand the root cause for which I could not live in peace with others was that I had been sapped of normal humanity due to the corruption of Satan. I always put the blame onto others when faced with problems, and hence was incompatible with my mother-in-law at home. Had it not been for Almighty that has taught me how to conduct myself, I would have parted from my mother-in-law long ago. I am so grateful that Almighty God has changed me!
I was born into an ordinary rural family. Although my family condition was average, my parents were fairly fond of me. They never let me work in the fields or do any heavy work. Raised in a protected cocoon, I didn’t know how to care about or show empathy with others, and became too self-absorbed to think of others. Once, when my parents came back home after the farm work, I was still watching TV and did not make the meal. Though looking unpleasant at this, they did not say a word…. In their love, I grew up gradually.
In 2011, my husband and I got together because of our belief in Almighty God. When I stepped into this new family, I was particularly happy, and I thought to myself: Since my husband and I are like-minded following the path of belief in God and we can love each other, I can most certainly live harmoniously with his family. However, after a period of time, things didn’t turn out as I imagined. I found there were many things I could not deal with, and were frequent frictions between my mother-in-law and me caused by different living habits. For example, my mother-in-law told me not to add water while cooking crown daisy, but stir-fry directly. Yet I added water again the next time I did it because of my carelessness. Then she scolded, “You’ve got a mind like a sieve!” I felt so bad for failing to keep it in mind. Sometimes, when we had guests, I played second fiddle to my mother-in-law, but she was disdainful of me for I was too slow. There was another time when I dunked my socks in a basin at night without washing them immediately as I was tired out. However, she nagged at me, saying I was too lazy and could hardly manage our family in the future. She fixated her eyes on me in all aspects, so I was cautious in every action for fear that she would find fault with me…. At the start, I put up with it, and I thought it was natural for people to have frictions. Nonetheless, I felt wronged gradually; I thought: No matter what I do, you’re always nitpicking; aren’t you intentionally making things difficult for me? I’ve been busy working every day, and I’m really tired after coming back at night. Why don’t you show any consideration for me? The more I thought about it, the more awful I felt.
One day, on the way home, I told my husband, “Now I’m afraid at the sight of your mother. I really cannot bear it. Let’s hurry to move out.” I thought he would stand by my side; to my surprise, he said, “Can the problem be solved when you move out?” His words woke me up all at once: Yes. Can I solve the problem even if I move? Won’t we meet each other in the future? Then the thought occurred to me that everyday matters are ruled and arranged by God, but what is God’s will in allowing these matters to come upon me? At that moment, I came before God and prayed to Him, “Oh Almighty God! That my mother-in-law treats me like this makes me very painful. Oh God! I don’t know what to enter into. May You enlighten me to understand Your will!” After I got home, I saw Almighty , “To restore the likeness of a normal man, that is, to achieve normal humanity, man cannot just pay lip service to please God. Doing so will only do harm to themselves and will do no good to their entry and transformation. So, to be transformed, man has to exercise bit by bit, enter in little by little, and seek and grope bit by bit, entering in from the positive side to live a practical life of truth and life of a saint. … Enter in and exercise by targeting at one matter, one thing, or one person, and do it with a target. Only thus can results be achieved. To transform man, it has to be done from their substance, aiming at their substance, their life, and their laziness, dependence, and slavishness. Only in this way can man be transformed” (The Word Appears in the Flesh). God’s words made me understand that if one wants to change his disposition and live out a normal humanity, he has to exercise and enter in through the people, occurrences, and things arranged by God. While reflecting on myself, I realized that in my home environment, my mother-in-law’s repeated criticisms just revealed my deficiencies and laziness in humanity, but I did not gain insight into myself at all, much less willingly let go of my ego. Conversely, when she taught me how to do something, I was reluctant to listen, and thought she was just finding fault with me. I was so lacking in reason, just as Almighty God says, “Man does not require much of himself, but he requires much from others—to have patience and tolerance for him, cherish him, provide for him, smile for him, be accommodating for him, yield to him, and take care of him in many ways. They should not be harsh, they should not provoke him, or do anything that he would not like. The rationality of man is so lacking!” (Christ’s Talks With Leaders and Workers of the Church). Only at that time did I realize that God was using this environment and my mother-in-law to make up for my deficiencies in humanity, and even more to make me seek the truth and live out a normal humanity. God’s heart is really beautiful and good!
Later, I read God’s words, “On the outside, every step of God’s work on man looks just like interactions between people. It looks like man’s arrangement or disturbance. However, behind each step and each event is a wager that Satan makes in front of God, and it is required that man stand witness for God. … You need to know that every event that comes to you is a big trial for you, and it is a time when God needs you to bear witness. On the surface it doesn’t look like such a big deal, but these things show whether you truly love God. If you love God you would be able to stand witness for Him; if you don’t practice loving God, it shows that you are not someone who practices the truth, there is no truth in you and no life, you are mere chaff! For every event you encounter, it is an event in which God needs you to stand witness for Him. Although you are not facing an important event and bear no great witness, in the nitty-gritty of daily life, it is all a matter of God’s witness. When you deserve the respect of your brothers and sisters, your family and the people around you, when an unbeliever comes in and sees that all you do deserves respect, he will see that everything God does is really good—this is when you bear witness. Though you are not knowledgeable and you are of poor caliber, through God’s perfection, you can satisfy Him and care for His desires. People will see that God has worked great things on those who are of the poorest caliber. They have known God and become overcomers in front of Satan, and their loyalty to God has reached a certain point. So they are the group of people with the greatest inner strength. This is the greatest witness” (The Word Appears in the Flesh). From God’s words, I saw that everything we encounter is a wager between Satan and God, and it is a time for us to stand witness for God. Although we can bear no great witness, the interactions between people are also matters of God’s witness. If we want to earn the respect from our family and the people around us, we must practice the truth. At this point, I understood that it doesn’t matter how much I do outwardly; the key is that I should live out a normal humanity with a thankful heart, and do my best to do whatever I can. Praise God. I felt brightened suddenly and knew what it is to satisfy God and practice the truth.
Afterward, when I returned home from work, I always washed dishes and swept floors after supper, and tidied up the house. Unexpectedly, after a while, there was a time when my husband picked me up from work. He said to me on our way home, “Today, my parents said you’ve progressed and changed some. They’re going to reward you.” Hearing what he said, I was very delighted. I knew that was achieved by God’s work. Later during the contact with my mother-in-law, when I came across something I did not understand, I would humble myself and ask her, trying to live out a normal humanity according to God’s words, and she was also glad to teach me. When I encountered difficulties at work or felt low, I would speak my heart to her as well. From then on, I never thought of moving out. Our relationship has become more and more harmonious. Although there still exists some frictions in our lives, under the guidance of God’s words, we are reconciled again after seeing through Satan’s schemes. I’ve truly experienced the almightiness and wisdom of God’s word, and recognized that God’s work is so practical. I thank and praise God from the bottom of my heart.
All the glory be to Almighty God! Amen!
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