By Yang Laidi I’m Yang Laidi, sixty-two years old this year. In 1985, because my husband had health problems, our […]
The Metamorphosis of a Post-90s
The Metamorphosis of a Post-90s
Once you hear the word of “post-90s,” what is on your mind? Are you thinking of the youth who are addicted to the internet and divorced from reality all day long? Or the campus young couples who march in pairs in school? Or the young boys and girls who linger in entertainment places and shake their bodies in bars all night? … Perhaps in many people’s eyes, the post-90s generation is no longer the symbol of youth and energy, passion and vigor, positivity and aggressiveness, but the symbol of incapability, idleness, and pleasure-seeking. Why do I say so? Please look at my personal experience as a post-90s girl.
Somehow, when I was in the sixth grade of the elementary school, I had learnt to smoke, drink, and gamble. At that time, I often crept out with my roommates to buy a boxful of beer and carry it to our dormitory, then we waited until night to secretly gamble with them while drinking as much beer as we wished. I thought it was an enjoyment. In middle school, I began to be addicted to online games and chat and eventually got to the point where I could hardly break free from it, playing when having classes, when walking, when eating, and in sleep time. Even when I was totally exhausted from playing games and had some sleep at my desk, I felt much satisfaction.
As I grew older and had more and more friends, I began to enter this complex society. And many new things which I had never touched were approaching me step by step. Although I had a lot of dreams for my future, I, inexperienced in society, still got lost in the world full of temptations.…
When I just started working after graduation, with great curiosity about new things, I went to KTV for the first time at the invitation of my friends. Maybe there were many things bottled up in my heart. Alcohol, drugs, and deafening music gave me a way to vent my feelings. Gradually, I got addicted to these places and invited many friends to amuse ourselves every time and then. Each time, I would play until two or three o’clock in the next morning and then go back home exhaustively…. As time passed, my health got worse and worse. But I didn’t care about it and still went to those places of entertainment frequently. At last, I had a stomachache and even spat blood out due to tobacco smoking, alcohol drinking, and staying up all night, and finally became skinny. Only then did I reflect on myself: Why do I, a girl, become so? If I go on this way, how long can I live? But if I end this lifestyle, how should I live then? What have I done over these years? At that moment, I suddenly felt empty and perplexed within, not knowing how far the path ahead was or how to go on.…
These questions were always lingering in my heart, which made me feel even more agitated and helpless. Fortunately, I accepted the end-time of soon. Through reading , I found the answer and understood a lot. Almighty God says, “The world becomes more and more dazzling. When people see it, their heart is attracted to it and many will not be able to get out of it. Those who practice deceitful tricks and sorcery will deceive a great deal of people. If you do not make progress and have no ideals, you will be swept away by the evil waves.” “The Almighty has mercy on these people who suffer deeply. At the same time, He is fed up with these people without any consciousness, because He has to wait too long for the answer from humans. He desires to seek, seek your heart and your spirit. He wants to bring you food and water and to awaken you, so you are no longer thirsty, no longer hungry. When you are weary and when you begin to feel the desolation of this world, don’t be perplexed, don’t cry. Almighty God, the Watcher, will embrace your arrival any time. He is watching by your side, waiting for you to turn back. He is waiting for the day your memory suddenly recovers: becoming conscious of the fact that you came from God, somehow and somewhere once lost, falling unconscious on the roadside, and then, unknowingly having a ‘father.’ You further realize that the Almighty has been watching there, awaiting your return all along. He longs bitterly, waiting for a response without an answer. His watching is priceless and is for the heart and the spirit of humans. Perhaps this watching is indefinite, and perhaps this watching is at its end. But you should know exactly where your heart and soul are now.” (from The Word Appears in the Flesh) Almighty God consoled my heart with His words like a loving mother, and I felt the warmth which I had never had before and that Almighty and expectation were beyond description…. While feeling God’s love, I was gradually clear that the evil trends of this “dazzling world” were Satan’s tactics to deceive and control man, but we ignorant humans were only satisfied with the temporary desires; without knowing how severely the evil trends would afflict our body and heart, we readily accepted all the poisons from Satan and allowed it to trample us willfully, letting its scheme of devouring man’s soul succeed. Thinking back to the course of my growing up, I had some realization: In these years, I sank deeply into the evil trend and drifted with the tide all the time, was fooled and afflicted by Satan, lived in sins and yet regarded it as an enjoyment. Even though I was terribly tormented by these things, I still clung to them. If it were not for Almighty God’s timely salvation, how terrible my end would be!
The past became history, and I had no power to change. But now, I have a right goal of life to pursue, because Almighty God’s word guides me in the direction of going forward! Almighty God says, “The youth should have ideals and aspiration and be vigorous and progressive. The youth should not be disheartened about their future, lose hope in life, or lose confidence in their future. The youth should persevere to walk the way of truth they have chosen today, and try to realize their wish of spending a lifetime for Me. The youth should have the truth, and should not conceal hypocrisy and unrighteousness. Rather, they should stand the ground they ought to take, and should not drift with the tide. They should have the spirit to bravely consecrate themselves and strive for justice and the truth. The youth should have the courage to not yield to the suppression of the force of darkness and to change the meaning of their own existence. The youth should not resign themselves meekly, but rather should be broad-minded and have the spirit of forgiving the brothers and sisters. …the youth should have the will to discern reason and seek the truth and justice. You should pursue all beautiful and good things and gain the reality of all positive things. You should be responsible for your own life, and should not take it lightly.” (from The Word Appears in the Flesh) Almighty God’s teaching gives me limitless strength, so now I no longer indulge and linger in the dazzling world but spend much more time reading God’s word and pursuing the truth. Because I see a fact: Only God’s word is the truth, the way, and the life, which can lead me onto the right way of human life. Although I have been deeply afflicted by Satan, lost myself, and taken many detours, God never abandons me. When I was at a loss and perplexed, God awakened me and brought me to His family, giving me “water” and “food” to water and feed me and letting me see light and hope. In the past, because I didn’t understand the truth and had no discernment of positive things and negative things, I greatly suffered the trample of Satan and lived a fallen and miserable life. Now, under the shepherding of Almighty God’s word, I have the right outlook on life, and know what attitude I a young person should have and what I should pursue and like. I have the goal of living out the likeness of a real man, and acquire some discernment of the right and wrong of the world. I am no longer the former arrogant me who pursued the evil trend and knew not what is good and what is bad, but begin to pursue doing things in a down-to-earth manner and being a dutiful person. Thank Almighty God for saving me from going over the edge of the cliff. I firmly believe that as long as I walk the path ahead as the guides me, I won’t get lost any more.
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