“Xiaomin, are you the only one home? Mingli isn’t there?” her friend Xiaomei asked her.
“Yeah, he went out to play cards.”
“And you believed him when he said that? Hey, I’ll level with you. Mingli is seeing another woman—he’s brought her over to my place a few times. Don’t believe him anymore! From now on when he goes out go along with him and keep a close eye on him. Got it?” Xiaomei hung up right after those words left her mouth.
Xiaomin didn’t dare believe what her ears had just heard. She thought of how she and Mingli had been married all those years and how she had always devotedly taken care of their home so that she and her husband could have a happy, full life together. And yet somehow, her husband had betrayed her with another woman—it was so heartless! She felt as if she had been stabbed through the heart, but she also felt incredibly angry.
She waited for Mingli to come home for what felt like a very long time, and when he finally came through the door, she furiously demanded that he tell her if he was having an affair. He flatly denied it. “No way! Don’t listen to the crazy things other people say. They’re just jealous of our love.”
“But why would someone say something like that for no reason?” Xiaomin was so angry that she began to cry.
“Who are you going to believe?” Mingli demanded, “me, or some other person? I said I’m not, so I’m not. Believe whatever you want!” Mingli stormed off in a huff, leaving her with those words. Xiaomin sat on the sofa in a daze, staring blankly as tears coursed down her face and past events played out in her head like scenes from a movie.
As far back as her memory went, Xiaomin’s father was never caring toward her mother. Seeing their cold, painful life together made her long to find a husband who truly loved her. She met Mingli when she was 23 years old. During their time together, she saw that he was a simple, stable person who was also very understanding of others. After they had been dating for a period of time, Xiaomin became certain that he was her ideal partner, and Mingli also solemnly swore that he would treat her well for the rest of their lives—before long, they were married.
After their marriage, Mingli became even more doting toward Xiaomin, especially after their daughter was born. He’d get up early every morning to wash her diaper and make breakfast for Xiaomin before heading off to work, all without a word of complaint. What was most moving for Xiaomin was that every time he came back from a business trip he’d bring her a gift. One time he spent his entire transportation allowance on clothes for her and had to borrow money from a colleague to get back home. Her female colleagues all said to Xiaomin, “You’re the only woman in the world, as far as your husband’s concerned. You’re so lucky!” Other people’s envy magnified her own happiness.
From then on, Xiaomin dedicated all of her energy to her husband and daughter, meticulously making three meals a day for them and even preparing the next season’s clothes for them in advance. She managed every aspect of their home lives with unfailing attention to detail so that Mingli never had to worry about a thing. She was also very filial to her parents-in-law, often buying clothing for them even when there was no special occasion. Mingli saw everything that she did and would often say to her, smiling, “I must have been a good person in my past life that I’ve been able to marry you. If I come back in another life I hope I can marry you again.” Hearing him say this, Xiaomin felt that she’d be utterly content in life as long as she could continue to live such a beautiful life with him …
BEEP–BEEP–BEEP! The jarring sound of a car horn tore Xiaomin away from her thoughts. She let out a long sigh and shook her head forcefully from side to side, wishing she could leave these painful things behind.
Her Husband’s Betrayal Leaves Her Heartbroken
Xiaomin started watching Mingli’s behavior to see if something really had changed inside his heart. She noticed that whenever his phone rang, he’d either take a quick look at it and turn it off, or he’d walk away from her and go downstairs to take the call. Not only that, but he would slyly turn his phone to vibrate mode. These odd behaviors left Xiaomin feeling very unsettled, and her intuition told her that something was definitely not right. She decided to get to the bottom of it. So, she looked at his call history and saw there was one person who had been contacting very frequently. Furious, she questioned Mingli, and faced with the facts he finally acknowledged that he was seeing another woman.
Xiaomin’s heart broke to pieces in that moment. She had believed that he would always uphold his vow to be good to her for the rest of their lives, and she never expected to find out that he had ventured outside of their marriage some time ago. She had been kept in the dark the entire time. She suddenly felt like she had been taken for an idiot, duped. She thought of how, ever since marrying Mingli, she had put everything she had into managing their home, and yet still he had betrayed her. She simply was not willing to accept the reality of this—she couldn’t. She cried and made a scene, but Mingli pushed her off, saying that he was just having a bit of fun with that woman and he would never abandon Xiaomin, that he wouldn’t leave their family. She demanded that he make a clean break with the woman, but he immediately turned hostile and yelled at Xiaomin, “Don’t take this so seriously! You know about it now, but what good’s that going to do you? You’re just making trouble for yourself! How many men are there in our society today who aren’t seeing someone on the side? Only the incapable ones! My old classmates started seeing other women a long time ago, and I always felt so inadequate around them. Now that there’s another woman who’s interested in me, it shows that I’m someone, and I can finally hold my head up high around my old classmates. Don’t tell me I’m being cruel—this sort of thing is everywhere these days!” Seeing Mingli’s self-assured and shameless attitude made it even more unbearable for Xiaomin, and she began screaming at him. From then on, they had a small fight once every few days and a big fight once every week, and their relationship became even more stuck.
She Nearly Loses Her Life Attempting to Win Back Her Husband’s Heart
Xiaomin wasn’t willing to let her happy home just fall apart, so in an attempt to win Mingli’s heart back she started to dress up, buying beautiful clothing and accessories and high-end cosmetics. She also got permanent lip color and had her hair permed, and she bought Mingli clothing she knew he liked. But all of her hard work came to nothing—Mingli remained engrossed in his affair and their relationship deteriorated to a point of no return.
What really tore Xiaomin apart was when their daughter called and said she wanted to come spend a couple days at home over the National Day holiday, and Mingli jumped on the chance to leave before their daughter arrived, finding another excuse to go see that woman again. This was so painful for Xiaomin. She thought of how, over the course of the more than 20 years of their marriage, she had always thought that she was the most important thing in her husband’s heart and that what he cared about most was their family, but now her husband was placing that woman above her and their daughter. He was even willing to lie to her to mess around with that woman. She just couldn’t accept it. The more she thought about it the sadder she felt, and she even had thoughts of suicide.
After Mingli got back home, Xiaomin became hysterical and started a huge fight with him. She told him to completely break things off with the other woman, or else she would die right in front of him. Their daughter, crying, said to Xiaomin, “Mom, what would I do if something happened to you?” She also told her dad that he should leave the other woman. But Mingli showed no emotion and coldly rebuked Xiaomin: “You’re the one who wants to die—I’m not forcing you!” Mingli’s cold, cruel response left Xiaomin in a pit of despair. In that moment, the vows they had once made seemed utterly empty. “Love between a husband and wife,” “till death do us part,” “let’s still be husband and wife in the next life”—they were all lies! Xiaomin’s hope to have a lifelong happy marriage was totally shattered, and she felt that rather than live in such pain, it would be better to die and be done with it. She picked up a paring knife and stabbed herself with it. Mingli rushed to grab it from her, just barely averting disaster. Xiaomin sat on the floor, weak and limp, with tears pouring down her face, totally distraught. Her frightened daughter held her, sobbing silently, but Mingli remained indifferent, his face like ice. For Xiaomin, that was the most chilling thing of all.
In order to avoid Xiaomin, Mingli started sleeping in their spare bedroom. Every morning, he got up and went out very early, and wouldn’t come back home until late at night. Although they were living under the same roof, they had nothing to say to each other—they had become the most familiar of strangers. Xiaomin was so tormented that she had many sleepless nights and thoughts of death continued to frequently haunt her mind. She just couldn’t understand how her husband, who had been so loving to her in the past, could have become so cold and heartless. She became like a zombie, shutting herself away in the house whenever she wasn’t at work. She didn’t want to see anyone at all. This is how she muddled through her days.
God’s Words Dispel Her Heart’s Distress
In July 2010, a colleague shared the gospel of God’s work of the last days with Xiaomin, who read these words from God: “The Almighty has mercy on these people who have suffered deeply; at the same time, He is fed up with these people who lack consciousness, as He has had to wait too long for an answer from humanity. He wishes to seek, to seek your heart and your spirit, to bring you water and food and to awaken you, that you may no longer be thirsty and hungry. When you are weary and when you begin to feel something of the bleak desolation of this world, do not be lost, do not cry. Almighty God, the Watcher, will embrace your arrival at any time” (“The Sighing of the Almighty”).
God’s words called out to Xiaomin, allowing her to feel God’s love and compassion for humankind. Now she understood that God had long since seen the pain and helplessness deep within her, as well as the despair she felt about life. God had always been keeping watch by her side, accompanying her, and now He had sent the gospel to her through her colleague in the hope that she could come before Him, accept His salvation, and leave her pain behind. God’s love, just like a mother’s, warmed Xiaomin’s heart, and she was deeply moved. She felt like an orphan who had been lost for many years and finally returned to her mother’s side. From then on, she read God’s words frequently and was often moved to tears by them. She basked in the sustenance and nourishment of His words. Finally, a smile appeared upon her careworn face, the first one in a very long time.
One day, Xiaomin read the words of God: “Born into such a filthy land, man has been severely blighted by society, he has been influenced by feudal ethics, and he has been taught at ‘institutes of higher learning.’ The backward thinking, corrupt morality, mean view on life, despicable philosophy, utterly worthless existence, and depraved lifestyle and customs—all of these things have severely intruded upon man’s heart, and severely undermined and attacked his conscience. As a result, man is ever more distant from God, and ever more opposed to Him. Man’s disposition becomes more vicious by the day … under the domain of Satan, man does nothing but pursue pleasure, giving himself over to the corruption of the flesh in the land of mud” (“To Have an Unchanged Disposition Is to Be in Enmity to God”).
As Xiaomin pondered God’s words, it became clear to her that Mingli had betrayed her because he was pursuing evil, satanic trends and that the betrayal happened because he had been misled and poisoned by the evil thinking that Satan had steeped him in. She thought of how in the past, most people were more restrained by their conscience and by public morality, and because of this they considered cheating or having an affair as a scandalous thing. They knew that God knows everything we do, and they were afraid of being denounced by others, or being talked about behind their back. That’s why just a minority of people gave in to the temptations of the flesh and lived out their evil desires. But along with the rise of atheistic and materialistic education and influences, no one believes in God anymore and they no longer fear God. Subsequently, the trends of society have become more evil and corrupt, and all sorts of evil ways of thinking are being disseminated, and spread unchecked, such as “The red flag at home does not fall, the colored flags outside flutter in the breeze,” “Without a woman on the side, a man has no zest for life,” and “It’s better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.” At first, people didn’t accept this kind of evil thinking, but bit by bit it became assimilated and ate away at them. Thus, people’s perspectives on things, their outlook on life and their values started to become twisted. People began to think that having an affair is a normal thing and an indicator of being a capable and charming person. That’s why more and more people have started going along with these evil trends, pursuing desires of the flesh and reveling in sin, becoming more and more corrupt to the point that they’ve completely lost all conscience, reason, character, and dignity. They’ve become more and more evil and depraved.
Xiaomin thought about how at first, Mingli had been a simple, stable person who really cared about their family, but then he started spending all his free time going out to bars and karaoke places with his old classmates. When he saw that lots of them had mistresses his thinking changed; he thought that a man having a lover or a mistress was a sign of having charm, that living that way was stylish and cool. So to satisfy his vanity, he went along with that evil trend and found a lover, betraying Xiaomin and hurting their child. Even when Xiaomin was at the brink of death, it wasn’t enough to win back his heart.
Looking at society today, there are more and more depraved, corrupt, morally bankrupt people like Mingli—tragedies like divorces and suicides because of an affair are on the rise, divorce rates are climbing and climbing, and countless once-happy homes are full of conflict and fighting. Husbands and wives become enemies and children’s souls are wounded. Isn’t the main culprit Satan, who has given rise to these evil trends?
But are the lives of people who have affairs really so carefree and easy? It occurred to Xiaomin that Mingli wasn’t any happier in life just because he had a mistress. He had to tiptoe around every day to protect his relationship with his mistress, and he had to put up with being denounced and rejected by his loved ones. His appearance had become more and more haggard, and he seemed to have aged quite a bit. He was constantly carrying a heavy emotional burden. Xiaomin could now see that Mingli was also a victim of these evil trends—it was all very sad, very pitiful. When she realized all of this, the hatred she felt for him abated somewhat.
She Finds Something to Live for and Is Freed
But later on when Xiaomin saw that Mingli was finding excuses to go see that woman, she still felt uncomfortable.
Then one day, Xiaomin read these words of God: “Pernicious influences that thousands of years of ‘the lofty spirit of nationalism’ have left deep in the human heart as well as the feudal thinking by which people are bound and chained, without an iota of freedom, with no will to aspire or persevere, no desire to make progress, remaining instead passive and regressive, entrenched in a slave mentality, and so on—these objective factors have imparted an indelibly filthy and ugly cast to the ideological outlook, ideals, morality, and disposition of humanity. Humans, it would seem, are living in a terrorist world of darkness, which none among them seeks to transcend, and none among them thinks of moving on to an ideal world; rather, they are content with their lot in life, to spend their days bearing and raising children, striving, sweating, going about their chores, dreaming of a comfortable and happy family, of conjugal affection, of filial children, of joy in their twilight years as they peacefully live out their lives…. For tens, thousands, tens of thousands of years until now, people have been squandering their time in this way, with no one creating a perfect life” (“Work and Entry (3)”).
She understood from this passage that what she had been pursuing, “the love between husband and wife” and “marital harmony” are not positive things; hidden behind them is Satan’s cunning plot to corrupt and harm mankind. As Xiaomin thought over everything from their marriage to the present time, she had borne hardships without complaint and put all of her thoughts and energy into taking care of her husband and child so that they could live in harmony into old age, so they would be inseparable for the rest of their lives. Seeking “the love between husband and wife” and “marital harmony” had been her motivation for living, and when her husband was caring and solicitous of her she felt like the happiest person in the world. But when he betrayed her, she instantly went from heaven to hell, was lost and helpless, and suffered in her pain. She had tried everything she could think of to dress up in a way he would like to win back his heart and was even willing to use her own life as a bargaining chip. But when all she had gotten for her efforts was her husband’s coldness and heartlessness, her dream was completely shattered. She didn’t know what to pursue; completely adrift, she lived like the walking dead. She then realized that when people seek happiness, Satan instills their hearts with these thoughts of “the love between husband and wife” and “marital harmony,” firmly controlling their hearts so that that is all they live for. They’re constantly calculating their gains and losses for the sake of love, putting all their energy into it and paying any price. They won’t even hesitate to give their own life for it. Satan really is so evil, despicable, and toxic!
What God’s words reveal and her own personal experiences left Xiaomin full of emotion. She thought, “So once people are corrupted by Satan our hearts are full of selfishness, deceit, evil, and other corrupt satanic dispositions and on top of that there are the corruption and influence of our society’s evil trends. Everyone is selfish and despicable, just out for our own interests and we only care about our own fleshly enjoyment. Even caring for each other is just a temporary thing—it’s not very genuine. Since ancient times blood brothers and sisters have familial intimacy when their own interests aren’t involved, but as soon as something impinges on that they refuse to make concessions and sometimes even sue each other, leading to the destruction of their relationships. Friends and relatives also incite conflict and betray each other as soon as personal benefit comes into play; they strike out and take revenge and stubbornly refuse to have anything to do with each other. Husbands and wives exploit each other, caring for the other when they stand to benefit, but discarding the other as soon as disaster hits. This kind of ‘love’ absolutely cannot withstand the test of time and reality. This is why there’s no true intimacy or love between people.”
Xiaomin saw that since she lacked the truth, she couldn’t see into the reality of how people have been corrupted by Satan and was living according to the erroneous thinking that had been instilled by Satan—she had been seeking a perfect marriage and love between a husband and wife to the extent that she had placed all of her hopes in life on her husband’s shoulders. Wasn’t that an entirely unrealistic dream? It was so foolish and so pathetic! She thought about how, even though in the past she had a supposedly happy life, it was just the temporal satisfaction of the flesh. Wasn’t what she gained in the end completely empty? It was then that Xiaomin really saw that the thoughts and perspectives Satan injects into man are all negative and living by that can only bring about more pain, and no happiness to speak of. Understanding that gave Xiaomin great emotional release.
Later, Xiaomin read another passage of God’s words: “Only if one knows God and has the truth does he live in the light; and only when his view of the world and his view of life change does he change fundamentally. When he has a life goal and comports himself according to the truth; when he absolutely submits to God and lives by God’s word; when he feels assured and brightened deep in his soul; when his heart is free of darkness; and when he lives completely freely and unrestrained in God’s presence—only then does he live a true human life and become a person possessing truth” (“Only by Pursuing the Truth Can You Obtain Changes in Your Disposition”).
God’s words allowed Xiaomin to understand that God is light and He is holy—all He expresses is the truth, it is all positive, and it is also the reality of life that people should possess. Once people understand the truth they’ll be able to see through Satan’s methods and tactics for corrupting mankind; they’ll be able to establish a correct pursuit and perspective through God’s words and take the right path in life. As a created being she should come before God and read His words often, understand the truth, and tailor her practice to His requirements. This way she’ll be able to escape from the shackles of Satan and the harm it does, live in the light, and her spirit will enjoy peace and stability.
Xiaomin thought of how she had come to understand so many things since gaining her faith in God and reading God’s words, and how she was stuck before living in pain from her husband’s betrayal that she couldn’t extricate herself from and it was God’s words that allowed her to recognize the root of his depravity and to clearly see how Satan uses evil trends and all sorts of absurd thinking and perspectives to corrupt human beings—it was no longer so painful for her. She personally experienced that God’s words truly can resolve people’s practical difficulties, guide us to freedom from our suffering, point out the correct path in life, and allow us to live freely and unburdened. She could feel from her heart how incredibly precious and valuable God’s words are! Xiaomin then set her resolve to certainly abandon her old lifestyle of depravity, to follow God and take the path of light of seeking the truth and worshiping God, to live out a life of meaning and value.
Bidding Farewell to Melancholy and Troubles, Welcoming the Light
In an effort to stop Mingli from continuing his affair, in the past Xiaomin wanted to know about his every step and control him, not allowing him to go out for fun. This not only exhausted all her emotional energy but was also fruitless. At that point, Xiaomin no longer forced anything on Mingli, but put her marriage in God’s hands and threw her heart into reading God’s words and seeking to understanding more of the truth. She later started performing her duty in the church and frequently attending gatherings with brothers and sisters where they read God’s words. As God’s words increasingly occupied her heart and she was more drawn to positive things, she gradually brooded over Mingli’s infidelity less, the troubles in her heart disappeared, and she felt a peace and ease she had never experienced before.
One time Mingli forgot his phone at home and Xiaomin wanted to look at it to see if he had been in touch with that woman. However, she realized that she was well aware he was in contact with her, and snooping on his phone could only increase her anxiety and allow her to be toyed with by Satan. So, she quietly prayed within her heart, “Oh God! Please protect my heart—I don’t want to be toyed with by Satan anymore.” After praying that thought was no longer so strong.
After he got back home Xiaomin reminded him to check his phone for messages to make sure nothing would be held up. He couldn’t quite believe that Xiaomin hadn’t looked on his phone. She said very frankly, “I’m a believer now and God’s words require us to be honest people. I wouldn’t lie or cheat you. You wronged me in the past, and I argued and instigated trouble with you, but that was because I didn’t understand the truth. I was toyed with and damaged by Satan. Since believing in God, I’ve read a lot of His words and have understood a number of truths. I don’t resent you as much as I used to and my own suffering has lessened. In the past, a lot of my actions weren’t in line with God’s will, but going forward I’m going to act according to His words and gradually change.” Seeing how up-front she was, Mingli nodded his head with a thoughtful look in his eyes.
Xiaomin was able to come out from the fog of the collapse of her marriage; she was no longer entangled in all of her complex feelings, and things gradually took a turn for the better. Mingli started going out at night less and less, spending more time at home. Sometimes he started asking Xiaomin if she wanted a late-night snack or not, and then would make something for her. Their relationship improved quite a lot and their life together slowly became peaceful again. Mingli and that woman later totally broke off their relationship.
After all of this had passed, Xiaomin looked back on every step of the crisis in her marriage, when God had saved her from Satan’s harm. She gained a deep understanding that only God is truly our support, and only by having faith in God, following Him, and understanding the truth can we see through Satan’s trickery. Also, only by listening to God’s words and putting them into practice can we escape Satan’s shackles, fully cast off our suffering, and walk into the light. Only then will we possess true joy and happiness within our souls. Thank God!
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God Guided Her Through the Pain of Her Marriage’s Collapse was last modified: January 11th, 2020 by Find the Shepherd
Their lost, confused, afraid, anxious, yearning and numb hearts found comfort. They were no longer doubtful or disappointed because they felt that now there was hope and something to rely on. The Son of man standing in front of them would be behind them for eternity, He would be their strong tower, their refuge for all time.