There Is a Love That Is Called Pain
There is a love that is called pain.
Perhaps you are competent, but you are always serving others, while someone else who is very cowardly has been taken care of. You may have experienced many hardships and are no stranger to tribulations, but the one you are most familiar with lives their entire lives in peace. You probably have spent over half your life suffering from illness, while some others lead a happy and comfortable life. … In short, there are many things you may find unfortunate and hard to accept.
However, we should not think ourselves unfortunate, or feel greatly wronged and complain how fate is unfair to us. Look at the people around us: In experiencing pain, some choose to escape and cease the effort to move forward, whereas some others choose to brave it and keep groping for progress. In the end, those who choose to escape, despite suffering little, live their lives in mediocrity. Those who choose to confront pain suffer a lot and shed many tears, but after going through painful struggles, they gain some understanding of human life, become mature in their thinking, and conduct themselves and handle things in an experienced and steady manner. On top of that, they can submit to the orchestration of fate, and feel steadfast, released and liberated in their hearts.
When I didn’t believe in God, I saw a lot of the above cases. After I believed in God, I read many of, and realized a fact: Every one of us is a part of God’s management plan, and we came into this world as a result of God’s arrangements. In our life journeys, there are many things painstakingly arranged by God for us. Some of them are very disappointing and we feel pain about them, but they are truly beneficial to us. Take myself for example. I was born vain. No matter what I did or said, I preferred to be praised and complimented by others. Any words that damaged my reputation would make me feel upset. Later, I married a man who was very lazy and ill-tempered. He often threw our family into turmoil. I felt my reputation was ruined, and I couldn’t keep my head high in front of others or speak with confidence. I had lived in pain and depression, and at some point I even lost the courage to live on. Afterward, I saw God’s words: “Corruption within human nature must be resolved through trials, however. In whichever aspects you do not pass, it is in these aspects that you must be refined—this is God’s arrangement. God creates an environment for you, forcing you to be refined there to know your own corruption. Ultimately you reach a point where you would rather die and give up your schemes and desires, and submit to God’s sovereignty and arrangement. So if people do not have several years of refinement, if they don’t have a certain amount of suffering, they will not be able to avoid the bondage of corruption of the flesh in their thought and in their hearts. In whichever aspects you are still subject to Satan’s bondage, in whichever aspects you still have your own desires, your own demands—it is in these aspects that you should suffer. Only in suffering can lessons be learned, which means being able to gain truth, and understand God’s intention” (“How to Satisfy God in the Midst of Trials”). Looking at God’s words, I felt very warm inside. I came to understand why God arranged things for me in this way and what His purpose was. God knows man best. He knew that I always worried about gaining and losing reputation, living in pain and depression without being able to be released. So, He arranged such a husband for me according to my corrupt disposition and my need. However, I was unwilling to accept it, and misunderstood God’s will, thinking God mistreated me so that I lived a miserable life. But on mature reflection, if I, as a person who treasured reputation more than life, had actually had my own way in everything, I would have become more arrogant with my internal desires continually growing, and more lacking in how a human being should be. I would even have been led astray by reputation and status. If that was really the case, not only would my whole life have been thoroughly ruined by vanity, but I would have brought much suffering to my family. At this point, I understood God’s will and His kind intentions. I saw that all He does is salvation and greatest protection for me. This is a love that cannot be expressed with words.
God says: “God can perfect man in both positive and negative aspects. It depends on whether you are able to experience, and on whether you pursue being perfected by God. If you truly seek being perfected by God, then the negative cannot make you suffer loss, but can bring you things that are more real …” (“Only Those Who Focus on Practice Can Be Perfected”). God’s words are very true. Whatever God does, be it good or bad in our eyes, contains God’s good intention, and it is to change us. When we have experienced some pain, we will truly recognize that pain is a unique gift and the truest love God bestows upon us.