By Yang Laidi I’m Yang Laidi, sixty-two years old this year. In 1985, because my husband had health problems, our […]
How to Resolve the Marriage Risk Brought by the Social Network Apps?
When Zhiqiang and Linlin knew each other, both of them considered each other as their lifelong partner that they can entrust. Linlin was a college student at that time, so she told Zhiqiang she would marry him after she graduated. During that time, Zhiqiang’s family set their faces against their love relationship. They worried Linlin would break up with Zhiqiang. But Zhiqiang believed they were truly in love, and their love was impregnable. Zhiqiang’s family said resignedly: “You just walk one way to the end, and you will regret one day.” Linlin told Zhiqiang when she knew it: “I assure you, you are the only man I want to marry. No matter how hard life is, I’m willing to face any obstacle and stick it out with you.”
Four-year long-distance love race finally ended. Linlin kept her promise when she graduated, she married Zhiqiang. They led a sweet life. The birth of their daughter brought a lot of joy to this family.
When Zhiqiang came home after a busy day, Linlin would carry a basin of foot-bath water for him, she also prepared delicious dishes on the table. Zhiqiang gave all his mind to this home as well, he tried his best to provide everything his wife and child needed. Although their living condition was not good, and they also had difficulties, they all gave encourages, comfort and supports to each other. The family lived in peace and happiness.
In 2012, Zhiqiang accepted the kingdomof God, but he seldom attended meetings because of his busy work.
One day, when Zhiqang came back home after work, Linlin consulted with him that she felt so lonely when she stayed at home during daytime, so she wanted to buy a smartphone to help the time pass. Zhiqiang agreed without hesitation.
Since Linlin bought the phone, she couldn’t leave it all day long. There was no care to Zhiqiang as usual, no hot foot-bath water and no delicious dishes anymore, even less and less conversation with Zhiqiang. Sometimes Linlin gave him a cold shoulder when he was talking to her. Zhiqiang felt something wrong: Did she fall in love with other people? But when he thought back over the past ten years, Linlin bore hardship without complaints, and put her whole heart into this family, she shouldn’t do anything wrong to him, so Zhiqiang didn’t think too much about it. However, then Zhiqiang found there indeed was something wrong with his wife. Linlin put all the work away, and checked the phone in a hurry as soon as she got messages on Messenger. And she dodged deliberately in the bathroom, and chatted for half an hour every single time. Seeing her abnormal behavior, his mind was in a turmoil. He thought: Does she really cheat on me? I have to figure out what happened.
Once Linlin went out for classmates reunion. She drank a lot of wine and she staggered back home. But she still chatted on Messenger attentively when she lay on the bed, and she was crying. Zhiqiang asked: “Why are you crying? Who are you chatting with? A man or a woman?” Linlin said, “A woman, nothing happened.” Zhiqiang grabbed the phone while Linlin was not paying attention, and she would wildly take the phone back. Zhiqiang avoided her and saw the dialogues in the phone. That guy said: “I know you love me so much, but my wife has already known our relationship …” Zhiqiang couldn’t keep looking. He flushed with anger and couldn’t control his emotion anymore. He raised his hand and gave her a slap across the face. This is the first time that Zhiqiang beat her. Linlin thought she was wrong, so she put her arms around her husband: “Please let me explain to you, we didn’t do any deviant behavior, we just chat casually, trust me!” Zhiqiang said angrily, “How can I believe in you? Can love be said casually to anyone? Don’t explain any more, our good life is over.” Linlin begged piteously to him, “Just forgive me this time, please.” Zhiqiang was in no mood for what she explained. He smashed the phone down on the concrete floor severely, yelling, “I’ll have you played more! I’ll have you played more!” The phone was broken immediately, and Zhiqiang’s heart was broken as well.
Men only weep when deeply hurt. Zhiqiang couldn’t control the feeling of pain in his heart anymore when he knew his wife cheated on him. He shed tears, wondering: Why was their deep affection broken vulnerably? Why did his wife become like this? In the past, they helped and took care of each other when they had a bad living condition; now the living condition gets much better, but his wife cheats on him unexpectedly. In retrospect, Zhiqiang ignored parental objections and waited her for 4 years, he thought it would be an indestructible relationship. He never thought their relationship was broken just by Messenger. For the following several days, no matter how Linlin begged for Zhiqiang’s forgiveness, he couldn’t face the fact, living in pain and despair and losing the hope to this marriage completely.
At this time, brothers and sisters came to Zhiqiang. They saw that his face creased up with sorrow, so they communicated that when the troubles and pains came to themselves, how they depended on God and howcomforted and helped them out of the pains. Zhiqiang thought the communication of brothers and sisters were very actual, they all spoke their minds, and he was moving by that. He saw God’s actual love and mercy. So he opened his mind as well, pouring out his own bitterness in his heart to brothers and sisters. They comforted ZhiQiang, “Brother, don’t be too sad. Actually, human beings are all innocent. The degeneration of humanity is caused by Satan’s corruption. If we want to hate, we should hate Satan! Satan used evil trends to corrupt us. Especially, playing phones brings a lot of pain to many families. Let’s read some God’s words about this.”
Then brothers and sisters read two passages of God’s words to him, “But to people, it seems like a world of gaiety and splendor, one that is becoming more and more so. When people look upon the world, their hearts are drawn to it, and many are unable to extricate themselves from it; great numbers will be beguiled by those who engage in trickery and sorcery. If you do not strive for progress, and are without ideals, you will be swept away by this sinful wave.”
“We only wish to talk about the ideas that social trends bring about for people, the way they cause people to conduct themselves in the world, the life goals and outlook that they bring about in people. These are very important; they can control and influence man’s state of mind. One after another, all these trends carry an evil influence that continually degenerates man, that lowers their morals and their quality of character more and more, to the extent that we can even say the majority of people now have no integrity, no humanity, neither do they have any conscience, much less any reason. So what are these trends? You cannot see these trends with the naked eye. When the wind of a trend blows through, perhaps only a small number of people will become the trendsetters. They start off doing this kind of thing, accepting this kind of idea or this kind of perspective. The majority of people, however, in the midst of their unawareness, will still be continually infected, assimilated and attracted by this kind of trend, until they all unknowingly and involuntarily accept it, and are all submerged in and controlled by it. For man who is not of sound body and mind, who never knows what is truth, who cannot tell the difference between positive and negative things, these kinds of trends one after another make them all willingly accept these trends, the life view, the life philosophies and values that come from Satan. They accept what Satan tells them on how to approach life and the way to live that Satan ‘bestows’ on them. They have not the strength, neither do they have the ability, much less the awareness to resist.”
By looking atand listening to the communion of brothers and sisters, Zhiqiang’s locked eyebrows were gradually opened. He understood that those people who did not come to God were all fooled by Satan, living in the evil trends, and they didn’t have abilities to resist Satan’s temptations and distinguish between positive and negative things. Looking back to the past, his wife was a gentle, considerate and family-centered person, but since she became fascinated by Messenger, she has become another person. She became crazy about it all the time and didn’t have mind to do anything, only thought of the Messenger. She lost her sense of family responsibility for a long time, which led her to do unethical things. In fact, in the modern society, lots of happy families are broken in this way. Online chatting and online dating have caused more and more serious conflicts between family, and finally they ended in a divorce. Children also lost the warmth of the family and were physically and mentally harmed.
At this time, Zhiqiang’s heart was relieved a lot, thinking: Yeah, my wife is also one of the victims who are corrupted by the evil trends. I am just too busy to spend time and energy on Messenger, otherwise, I am also likely to make the same mistake like my wife has done. At this point, Zhiqiang’s heart was full of gratitude to God. But for God’s mercy, and that God moved brothers and sisters in time to communicate God’s word with him, and help him know the reasons why his wife cheated on him and see through Satan’s means and the truth of corruption for people, he would certainly still live in the resentment of his wife, even couldn’t recover after a setback, his family would also be faced with being broken. Zhiqiang heartily thanked God for His true love and salvation.
Since then, Zhiqiang actively participated in the meetings. In the word of God, he understood a lot of truths, his wounded heart was soothed for a little bit, and he forgave his wife completely. After Linlin had this bitter lesson, she was willing to repent, and return to the family. The family was restored to its usual stable and peaceful life again. Nowadays, Zhiqiang no longer believed in God with a sloppy attitude, but he devotes more time to communicate the word of God with brothers and sisters. Now he lives a fulfilling life every day.