Don’t Let Jealousy Ruin Our Friendship

By Xiang Shan, Italy

Xiaohan arrived alone in a strange city to make her way and she worked in an enterprise. By accident, she contacted a company and had a chance to audition, which made her enter show business. She had never dreamed that she could be an actress.

two women

Xiaohan made many friends in the company, especially Shao Hua, who lived with her in the same dormitory. Shao Hua was over ten years older than Xiaohan; she had the quality of a mature female, and was genuine and decent and elegant in appearance, while Xiaohan was vivacious, extrovert and full of vigor. However, there was no gap in age and character between them. When Xiaohan told the troubles in her heart to Shao Hua, Shao Hua would comfort and encourage her; when Xiaohan did wrong things, Shao Hua could forgive and tolerate her, not disliking her. Their friendship became closer and closer, and even their workmates envied them their friendship. They didn’t keep anything from each other and went everywhere together. In this strange city, Xiaohan felt as if she had found her loved one.

One day, the company would choose the heroine for a playlet. Xiaohan was also given a chance to compete for the heroine. She was very happy and excited, thinking: Although the heroine should be mature this time, as long as I make myself up to look more mature and practice acting diligently, I will probably be chosen as the heroine. By then, everyone will look up to me and I will hold my ground in the company. I must seize this opportunity. So Xiaohan began to practice hard and prepared for the competition.

Not long after, the company had an intense competition to choose the heroine and the result was out. To Xiaohan’s surprise, Shao Hua was chosen as the heroine while she failed. Then she had a sense of loss in her heart: I have failed this time, and when will I have another chance to be a heroine? After Shao Hua was chosen as the heroine, she often talked with directors about the script and acting while Xiaohan was like an outsider. Seeing this, Xiaohan was jealous of Shao Hua in her heart: If I were the heroine, the directors and workmates would all revolve around me and I would not be neglected. Seeing Shao Hua talked and laughed together with the directors and workmates, Xiaohan was even more displeased in her heart: What are you proud of for? You are just a heroine. If I were at your age, I would also be the heroine. Xiaohan was jealous of Shao Hua, so she started to change her attitude toward Shao Hua. When Shao Hua spoke to Xiaohan, she just responded coldly. Xiaohan, who originally was vivacious and extrovert, became silent. Her heart had been sealed to Shao Hua. She didn’t want to speak heart-to-heart with Shao Hua, and really wanted to vent her grievances.

Once when they needed to exchange beds in the dormitory, Xiaohan couldn’t control her anger and said to Shao Hua, “You are too selfish. You just think of yourself. You think you act well? …” Facing this suddenness, Shao Hua was shocked and she just lowered her head in silence. Xiaohan’s outburst of anger made their relationship become more and more estranged. Xiaohan didn’t want to see the result like this; she felt great pain in her heart, but she just couldn’t control her temper. Not knowing how to face Shao Hua, she had to move to the next room. Xiaohan thought: Once we were good friends who kept nothing from each other, but today we are just like strangers. What’s happened to me? She felt it was difficult to accept the fact that she had lost such a good friend, and that her excessive deeds had certainly done harm to Shao Hua, but she didn’t know what to do. In pain, she prayed to God: “God, I feel distressed in my heart. I live in the situation that I’m jealous of Shao Hua. I don’t know how to get along with her. Please help me.”

Bible, pencil

After praying and seeking, Xiaohan saw God’s words say, “As soon as it involves position, face, or reputation, everyone’s heart leaps in anticipation, and you always want to stand out, to be famous, to be glorified. You are unwilling to yield, always wanting to contend…. When you see someone stand out, you are jealous, feel hatred, complain, and feel it is unfair. ‘Why can’t I stand out? Why is it never me? Why is it always he who gets to stand out and it’s never my turn?’ There is some resentment. You try to repress the resentment, but you can’t, so you pray. After praying, you feel better for a little while, but later when you encounter the matter again you cannot overcome it. Is this not a case of immature stature? Is not a person’s falling into these conditions a trap? This is the bondage of a satanically corrupted nature.

Having seen God’s words, Xiaohan understood the reason why she was jealous of Shao Hua: It turns out that the root of the problem was that I have too strong a desire for fame and status. In fact, since the company began to choose the heroine, I would want to be the heroine to have others think highly of me and value me, and to let workmates and directors all revolve around me, letting others admire and exalt me, so that I could have a place in the company. However, when I knew that I was not the heroine and I couldn’t stand out or show off myself before others, or satisfy my vanity, I would be jealous of Shao Hua and give vent to my grievance toward her. At the time, Xiaohan understood the reason why she was jealous of Shao Hua was due to her view of pursuit “Stand out from others and pursue to stand high among people.” It was just the constraint and bondage of this view that made her live so miserably. At the moment, Xiaohan realized the root of her pain, so she really wanted to get rid of the jealousy and cast off the constraint and bondage of the corrupt disposition.

Then Xiaohan saw God’s words say, “What kind of changes must a person make if he wants to refrain from falling into these conditions and wants to be able to cast off these conditions and free himself of the vexations of these things? What must a person obtain before he can free himself of the vexations of these things, loosen the bonds of these things, and be able truly to be free and liberated? On one hand, a person must see through things: These fame and fortune and positions are tools and methods for Satan to corrupt people, to entrap them, to harm them, and to cause their degeneration. You must first see clearly this aspect in theory. … How are these things cast off? Do you have a solution? First, you must see through them, and then you must learn to give up these things and set them aside. If you are always focusing on these things, always struggling for these things, if your heart is fully occupied and filled by these things, if you never want to put them aside and you always harbor them without putting them aside, then you are being controlled by and bound by these things. You have become a slave, and you cannot give them up. You must learn to give up and set aside these things, to yield, to recommend others, to allow them to stand out. Do not struggle furiously and rush to take advantage as soon as you encounter an opportunity to stand out or obtain honor. … The more you struggle and compete, the darker will be your condition; try it if you don’t believe it. If you want to turn around this kind of condition, if you want not to be controlled by these things, then you must first set them aside and give them up.

God’s words gave Xiaohan the path of practice to resolve these problems: To cast off the bondage of fame and status, first, she must see through the thing that these fame and status are tools and methods for Satan to corrupt man and what they bring man is only pain. Only if she practices according to God’s requirements, puts aside the desire for standing out from others, and obeys God’s sovereignty and arrangements, can she have peace and happiness in her heart. Recalling those days when she was jealous of Shao Hua, she forgot that she was in the same team with Shao Hua and that they should pull together to cooperate in filming. But because of her not being able to show off herself or be valued by others and because her desire for status wasn’t satisfied with, she intentionally hurt Shao Hua so that Shao Hua’s mood was affected, which caused Shao Hua not to immerse herself in the plot. As a result, the movie couldn’t be filmed normally and the progress of the whole company was also impeded. At the time, Xiaohan had an awakening and realized that she was too selfish. So she prayed to God with tears: “God, I’m wrong. I shouldn’t be jealous of Shao Hua for my own fame and position. I’m too selfish and mean. I have no likeness of a Christian. Thank You for reminding and exposing my corruption with Your words and giving me a correct path to practice. I’m willing to put the fame and status aside and submit to Your sovereignty and arrangements.”

After Xiaohan found all of this was her own problems, when she again came to the locale, what she saw was not that the directors and workmates all revolved round Shao Hua but that everyone was together trying to make the playlet go well. So she also actively helped them and cooperated to maintain order in the locale. When Xiaohan saw that Shao Hua was hard to get in character in an emotional line and that workmates all helped her, she also prayed for Shao Hua silently and gave her some advice. In the end, Shao Hua was successful in submerging herself in the role and acting it out and finished the scene. Later, Xiaohan initiatively opened up to Shao Hua about the thing that she was jealous of Shao Hua because of her struggling for fame and status and did harm to Shao Hua; she hoped that Shao Hua could forgive her. And Shao Hua also talked about what she was feeling. Through their opening up to communicate with each other, the estrangement between them was removed. Afterward, Xiaohan and Shao Hua returned to a relationship that they didn’t keep anything from each other again. Seeing this, Xiaohan was very happy in her heart. Thank God! It was the timely guidance of God’s words that made her relationship with Shao Hua recovered.

Dear brothers and sisters, if you have any understanding or enlightenment from God, welcome to share with us via:1. The online chat window at the bottom of the website. 2. Send an email to [email protected].We sincerely hope we’ll grow spiritually through sharing with each other.

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