How Should I Experience It When My Husband Had an Affair?

By Yijuan, United States

A Blissful Family I Once Had

marriage relationship, husband and wife

When I was 21, at the introduction of a friend, I got acquainted with my husband. He treated people very sincerely and was very competent, and we got married a year later. Soon after our marriage, our daughter was born, and my husband treated us very well. Not rich as our life was, I felt very happy. In order to live a better life, we rented a stand in a farm produce market to retail and wholesale marine food products. Every day, I worked from dawn till dusk, and I ran the business while taking care of my daughter. Being under great work pressure for a long time, I slept badly and got a migraine, low blood pressure, and hypoglycemia when I was 26. Yet I thought it was worth it for this family. Seeing that I suffered with him, my husband felt uneasy; after discussion, we decided to give up the business.

Afterward, we opened a store selling health products and daily necessities. At the start, our business was not good, and my husband needed to attend training constantly to learn the professional knowledge of these products. Through our efforts for a length of time, our business gradually got better and we opened branch shops in many cities. Our life eventually improved much. At that time, my husband often bought upmarket clothes and jewelry for me, and every time when he came back from his business trip, I would cook him his favorite food. I felt that I was the happiest woman in the world.

A Marriage Crisis Caused by a Text Message

With the enlargement of the business, my husband had more social events. He frequently went out to have meals and drink with the clients, and sometimes he also accompanied them to sauna. As thus, he came home less and less. As the saying goes, “Touch pitch, and you will be defiled.” Worrying that my husband would overstep the bounds if he frequented those entertainment venues, I lived in anxiety. Later, I found that he always acted strangely: He often made phone calls behind my back; he always kept the door closed when surfing the Internet, and when I came in, he either closed the chatting window or quickly opened other webpages with an unnatural expression. Then I thought in my heart: Why does he do things behind my back? Does he have an affair? From that time forth, I paid careful attention to his acts. Immediately I saw that he went to the toilet to make a phone call, I eavesdropped on what he said outside the door. I felt that I was like a thief and I felt so tired.

One morning, I sat on the sofa watching TV while my husband was still sleeping. At this time, a message was sent to his phone, and I couldn’t help but read it. When I saw those disgusting words in the message, I was so angry that my entire body trembled. I felt that it was like thunder from a clear sky to me, and I couldn’t believe the fact that my husband actually had an affair. After he woke up, I asked him about this message. He denied having an affair at the very start, but when I kept questioning him, he eventually admitted it. He said that he just had business dealings with that woman and that they merely used each other, having no true affection. Hearing his words, I felt a heartrending pain and my tears trickled down uncontrollably. He explained himself to me but I was deaf to his words. I wept out, “Say no more. Let’s get divorced. Now you are rich, and you can marry any woman you want. I’ll raise our child by my own, and we won’t come back to seek help from you even if we are desperately poor.” At the moment, my husband also shed tears and confessed his error, and promised that he wouldn’t do that again.

Later, my husband begged me for forgiveness many times. However, when I thought of how I married him without asking for wealthy life when he was nobody, how we established our business from nothing, and how we got like this, my hatred toward him would arise spontaneously. Although we two still lived together, we no longer shared a common language, and I even didn’t want to talk to him. Every time I thought of this thing, I cried secretly, which triggered the relapse of my migraine. Tormented by physical and mental pain, I sometimes even wanted to kill myself to end it all. But at the thought that my child and old mother would be more pained if they lost me, I gave up the thought of death. I also had the thought of divorcing him many a time, but if I did so, my young daughter would lose a complete family. Thinking it over and over, finally I decided to go on living with him.

Afterward, my husband went out for social events less. Outwardly he treated me well as always, buying me upmarket clothes and jewelry when coming home from business trip. But I felt that whatever he did was a sham, for I thought he might treat me well at one moment and stay with another woman at the next moment. In the past, when he came back from work trip, I would cook whatever food he liked, but now I was in no mood to do that. I knew that such acts would only make our relationship get worse and worse, but I couldn’t pretend nothing had happened. I felt despair toward our marriage and didn’t know how I should walk my future path.

God Saved Me When I Was in Pain and Confusion

Just when I felt painful and helpless, a friend of mine preached God’s gospel to me. At the start, I was very worried that if the brothers and sisters knew my dirty laundry, they would look down upon me. Unexpectedly, a sister told her painful experiences to me first. After hearing this, I was deeply moved and then I opened my heart to tell her my pain and grievance. The sister enlightened me with God’s words and her own experiences. Then my depressed and pained heart was released gradually.

Later, I saw God’s words saying, “In truth, out of the myriad things in God’s creation, man is the lowest. Though he is the master of all things, man is the only one among them that is subject to Satan’s trickery, the only one that falls prey in endless ways to its corruption. Man has never had sovereignty over himself. Most people live in the foul place of Satan, and suffer its derision; it teases them this way and that till they are half alive, enduring every vicissitude, every hardship in the human world. After toying with them, Satan puts an end to their destiny.” Looking at God’s words, I understood: The reason why we endure all kinds of suffering is that we are corrupted by Satan, live under the domain of Satan, and are tortured and fooled by Satan. In today’s society, eating, drinking, whoring, and betting have become trends. Many people accept the negative as the positive. Having a concubine is regarded as a common phenomenon while those who don’t have one is considered incapable. People has become more and more numb and even lost the sense of shame. And so many families have broken apart because of the third party. My husband often associates with those fair-weather friends who live in licentiousness and sin. How can he not be affected under this kind of circumstance? He used to treat our family very well, but now he becomes evil and debauched and only satisfies his own flesh, not caring for our many years of marital affection, nor caring for our child’s feelings. Now I understand that Satan is the arch-criminal causing him to degenerate and that he is also a victim of Satan. After knowing this, I started to understand my husband, and my hatred for him became less.

book, read book

Later, at a gathering, I saw God’s words say, “It is that God’s will to save mankind is sincere. He gives people opportunities to repent and opportunities to change, and during this process, He understands people and deeply knows their weaknesses and the extent of their corruption.” From God’s words, I saw that the heart of God is truly good and beautiful. God deeply knows that we are afflicted by Satan, and that we can’t extricate ourselves from the binding of sin when living in this evil and corrupt world. So He saves us to the utmost. As long as we can get back on the right path and repent, He will give us a chance to attain His salvation. From God’s words, I saw that God is full of love, understanding, tolerance, and patience for us, which made me ashamed. Since my husband betrayed me, I hated him in my heart. I didn’t divorce him just because of our child and aged parents. I never thought to forgive him, never gave him a chance to repent, and never show him my kindness. I saw that I had been so corrupted by Satan as to be narrow-minded and have no tolerance or forgiveness toward others. My husband had an affair in a moment of confusion and it was not persistent. So I should give him a chance to repent and try to let go of my hatred for him; it is also a chance for me to practice the truth. Therefore, I tried to accept my husband anew from my heart.

When I started to practice the truth, at the thought of the things he had done, I still could not help but treat him as before. Later, I came before God and prayed to Him, “O God! I don’t want to treat my husband like this. But the moment I saw him, I just couldn’t control my hatred for him. Living in such states, I feel very painful. I hope that You lead me to act according to Your requirements.” After my prayer of each time, I had the strength to practice the truth and forsake my flesh. I tried to understand his difficulties and suffering and started to show consideration for him: When he returned from other places, I cooked the seafood dumplings that he liked most; when he talked to me, I no longer ignored him as before. Seeing my change, my husband was very moved and regretted the mistake he had made. Under the guidance of God’s words, I reconciled with my husband and our family restored its former warmth and harmony.

I Examine the Life Anew After This Experience

My broken marriage could restore its former happiness, which was the effect that God’s words have had on me. If God hadn’t saved me and made me see clearly Satan’s corruption of man, I could not have broken free from the suffering at all, and who knows what my family and I would be like today. Now I finally understand: If we don’t come before God, then we’ll live in the domain of Satan and live by satanic corrupt disposition, and there is no happiness to speak of at all. Only when we come to worship God and live by God’s words, can we have a path to travel, live in the light, and lead a happy and meaningful life.

At present, my husband still has many social events and we don’t often live together, but through the guidance of God’s words, I no longer live in suffering and suspicion. Seeing my change, my husband supports my believing in God and fulfilling my duty, and when my brothers and sisters come gather in our home, he treats them with warmth. Now I and my brothers and sisters enjoy God’s words and perform our duties together at church, and we feel enriched and peaceful in our spirit and enjoy genuine joy. Although I can’t do big things, I am willing to do all that I can to bring before God more people who live in the affliction of Satan and let them attain God’s salvation. All the glory be to God!

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