How are we supposed to free ourselves from the spiritual emptiness and the degenerate life and find a genuine life? I was so lost and befuddled before, but now I’ve found the answer.
God Creates the Miracle of Life
I had gone through an unhappy marriage and I started a new family in 2007. After marriage, due to my physical unfitness, I had habitual abortion. In 2011, I was over the child-bearing age, but luckily, I was pregnant once again. To give birth to the baby smoothly, I strictly followed the doctor’s advice to have tonics and take rest; I had examinations and injections of tocolytic agents regularly in the hospital, in fear of an unexpected miscarriage. However, more than six months later, amniotic fluid breaking, I delivered a premature baby with the weight of 1.8kg. The doctor diagnosed my son’s illness as a congenital biliary atresia, which might take his life at all times. Hearing that news, I felt as if the sky had fallen and I couldn’t help but drop tears unceasingly, thinking: It is not easy for me to bear this child. How come he has a congenital disease? No! I must try my best to cure him. Nowadays, science is so developed. Besides, it has been publicized in the newspaper and on TV that any disease can be cured. I’m assured that science will cure my son’s disease.
After my son was born, the doctor placed him in the incubator, injecting him with the imported nutraceutical on time every day, monitoring his heart around the clock and specially assigning persons to take care of him. However, having stayed in the incubator for twenty-three days, he only gained 200g. I was burning with anxiety. Seeing that my child felt too unwell to fall asleep, he breathed a shallow breath, cried with his face getting purple, and his navel swelled up, I was heartbroken, with tears wetting my face every day. I thought: So many days have passed and we have used almost all leading medicines and remedies; how can they be ineffective? The modern medical science is so advanced now, but why can it not alleviate my son’s pain? Is the medical skill not up to the mark or the equipment not advanced in this hospital? Perhaps those are better in a large-scale hospital.
So, after discussion, my husband and I decided to transfer our son to a provincial hospital. Regardless of my rather frail body, I was discharged from the hospital quickly and on the very day, we left for the provincial capital. In the provincial hospital, my child was sent to the incubator again, and took blood test every day. After several twists and turns, the results of inspection were the same as before, and the doctor gave the same medical treatments. After nine days, my son’s illness didn’t take a favorable turn, but was aggravated owing to being drawn too much blood for tests. His cries became weaker and weaker, his navel got more and more swollen, his weight decreased, and he sucked the breast with difficulties. Observing this situation, the doctor was afraid that my child would die in the hospital, so he said to us, “You’d better go home. I’m incapable of curing your child. There’s no use in continuing healing him.” Hearing the specialist’s words, my husband and I were agonized. I thought: Will my kid’s life end that way? Isn’t it said that all the disease can be cured by modern science? Why can’t it cure my son? I still didn’t give up, then I cried and pleaded with the doctor, “Please seek other ways to save my child. As long as there is a glimmer of hope, I’m willing to do no matter how much it costs.” But he shook his head resignedly. My husband also advised me, “Since the specialist can’t cure our son’s disease, now we can only wait for his good fortune.” We had no alternative but to take our child back home.
On the second day after we returned home, my aunt (my father’s sister) came to visit my child and me. She testified about God’s gospel to me. And then she picked up a book and read a passage of God’s words to me, “From the moment you come crying into this world, you begin to perform your duty. You assume your role in the plan of God and in the ordination of God. You begin the journey of life. Whatever your background and whatever the journey ahead of you, none can escape the orchestration and arrangement that Heaven has in store, and none are in control of their destiny, for only He who rules over all things is capable of such work.” After reading these words, my aunt fellowshiped, “God is the Creator and the source of life for all things. He presides over everything of man. So everyone’s fate is in control of His hand and cannot be governed or decided by anyone. Your son’s disease cannot be cured in this hospital, nor in that hospital. You can hand the child to God, pray to Him, depend on and look up to Him more often. Whether he is well or not, let God control and decide. We just submit to His sovereignty and arrangement. …” Hearing her words, I gasped and thought: I have never heard about such words. They are reasonable. I thought back to the past. After I had a pregnancy, I started having injections, taking medicine and having health care for the safe birth of my child. Beyond my expectation, I had a premature delivery and my child had a congenital disease. We transferred him from a general hospital to a large-scale one, but both of them couldn’t cure him of disease. It cost a lot of money, but his disease turned no better. It seemed that science cannot take charge of man’s fate, much less change one’s fate. Is my child indeed in charge of God? My son’s disease, congenital disease couldn’t be cured even in the largest hospital in the provincial capital. Is God able to? My aunt seemed to read my thought and said to me, “God’s authority and power cannot be fathomed by man. If you experience practically, you can see God’s wondrous deeds.” Hearing what she said, I wanted to have a try. Maybe, if I believed in God, there would be a little hope for my son’s disease. Thereupon, I began to follow my aunt to believe in God. Whenever I had time, I would read God’s words. The brothers and sisters often had gatherings at my home and fellowshiped with me. And I often committed my son’s disease into God’s hands and allowed Him to control and arrange.
One evening, my son felt unwell again and cried very bitterly with sweat all over, his navel swelling badly. Seeing his agony, I began to worry again: He is so small and thin and doesn’t want feeding. If this continues, how can he bear? I’d better let my husband take him to the hospital again. Perhaps there’ll be a gleam of hope. I told my thought to my husband. He took a look at our child and said dejectedly, “Our son has a congenital disease. The best expert has refused to treat him. Even if we go to the hospital, what problems can be solved?” Then I thought what he said was reasonable. Even the expert in the provincial hospital couldn’t cure him. Science can’t save my child. What should I do? One day, I saw two passages of God’s words, “From when man first had social sciences, the mind of man was occupied by science and knowledge. Then science and knowledge became tools for the ruling of mankind, and there was no longer sufficient room for man to worship God, and no more favorable conditions for the worship of God. The position of God sunk ever lower in the heart of man.” “Mankind merely uses scientific knowledge that the naked eye can see and the brain can comprehend to anesthetize his heart. … Regardless of whether you are able to recognize the deed of God, and irrespective of whether you believe in the existence of God, there is no doubt that your fate lies within the ordination of God, and there is no doubt that God will always hold sovereignty over all things. His existence and authority are not predicated upon whether or not they can be recognized and comprehended by man. Only He knows man’s past, present and future, and only He can determine the fate of mankind.” At this time, I understood: Originally, I had been esteeming science and relying on it, and I had thought science was all-purpose, could solve people’s various difficulties and cure people’s all kinds of diseases. Before the birth of my child, I tried to prevent a miscarriage with scientific methods for my child to be born smoothly. However, unexpectedly, my son was delivered prematurely with a congenital disease. During the treatment, I, again, put all of my hope on science, believing that, in modern times, science was well-developed, and with advanced apparatus and equipment, imported medicine as well as the treatment of the specialists, my son would recover from his disease. As a consequence, we spent lots of energy and money, but all hardly helped. It turned out that science is not all-purpose, and it cannot rule over man’s fate, much less change man’s foreordination. I was deceived by science, believing it in the depth of my heart, but not admitting God’s sovereignty, not believing man’s fate is in the hand of God. Hence, as soon as I had difficulties, I would think of science and intended to alter my child’s fate by it. It could be seen that what I believed and depended on in my heart was science, and I wasn’t a true believer in God! From then on, I am determined to rely on and look unto God genuinely, and allow God to reign over, dominate and arrange my son’s fate. No matter whether my son would die or survive, I would obey Him and have no complaints.
Four months later, the symptom of my son showed little improvement, his face yellow and thin, and his breath feeble. I planned in my heart again: My son is always suffering so much and has not improved a bit. Should I find a better hospital? Thinking of these, I was anxious and uneasy. In pain, I came before God and cried to Him, “Oh, God! My son hasn’t had a better turn for so long a time. I don’t know whether I shall go to the hospital. Oh, God! I would like to depend on You! May You lead me to understand Your will.” After prayer, I saw two passages of God’s words, “Almighty God is an all-powerful physician! … Faith is like a single log bridge….” “People’s faith is required for when something cannot be seen by the naked eye, and your faith is required for when you cannot let go of your own notions. When you are not clear on God’s work, what is required is your faith and that you take a firm stance and stand witness. … If you have lost hope in God, how will you be able to experience Him? Therefore, only when you have faith and you do not harbor doubts toward God, only when you have true faith in Him no matter what He does will He enlighten and illuminate you in your experiences, and only then will you be able to see His actions. … What does faith refer to? Faith is the genuine belief and the sincere heart that humans should possess when they cannot see or touch something, when God’s work is not in line with human notions, when it is beyond human reach. This is the faith that I speak of.” Having read these words, I recalled: Before I believed in God, I only believed science. Consequently, seeking medical advice had no result. Today, I have believed in God, but I have suspicion in my heart. I still want to depend on science. Neither do I believe in God’s sovereignty, nor do I believe that man’s life is in God’s hand. Feeling uncertain about God, I will not see His actions. Only by genuinely believing in God can I see His wondrous deeds. Therefore, every day I, by prayer, put my son’s disease in God’s hands and left it at the mercy of Him.
When I truly committed my son to God’s hands, after a short period of time, he had unconsciously a little ruddy complexion, and didn’t cry bitterly as before. Seeing he was on the mend, my husband took him to the hospital to check. After the checkup, the doctor made certain that my son had gotten over the disease and said, “It’s really a miracle!” At that moment, I dared not believe my son’s disease was gone miraculously and he could grow up like other normal children. I was so excited that tears swarmed to my eyes. I said to my husband gladly, “Thank God! Thank God! God is indeed marvelous!” Watching our son, my husband nodded happily and gaily.
Through this matter, I have personally experienced and seen: God, using His extraordinary authority and power, created the miracle of life. These years, whenever I see my son grow up healthily and happily, I will think of God’s salvation and can’t help sighing from the bottom of my heart: Science simply can’t change man’s fate. Only God is the source of man’s life. The life and death of each person are determined by God.
Walking on the Right Way of Human Life
A Symphony of My Fate
My Painful Experience of Struggling Against Fate
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