How are we supposed to free ourselves from the spiritual emptiness and the degenerate life and find a genuine life? I was so lost and befuddled before, but now I’ve found the answer.
Relying on God and Gaining the Path to Walk – Christian Experience
By Yangwang, Malaysia
I got up very early in the morning as usual. Opening the window of my bedroom and the fresh air blowing toward me, I felt carefree and happy. I began my spiritual devotion life with joy, turning over the book of God’s word and reading, “‘Belief in God’ means believing that there is a God; this is the simplest concept of. What’s more, believing that there is a God is not the same as truly believing in God; rather, it is a kind of simple faith with strong religious overtones. True faith in God means experiencing the words and work of God based on a belief that God holds sovereignty over all things. So you shall be freed of your corrupt disposition, shall fulfill the desire of God, and shall come to know God. Only through such a journey can you be said to believe in God.” After seeing these words, I was filled with strong emotions. Recalling the past events, I felt God had led me to experience His words and let me learn to rely on and look up to Him in all things, and made me have some knowledge and appreciation of God’s almightiness and reality.
One afternoon, my husband suddenly called me that he lost his job. After hearing the news, I was worried thinking that his work was very good all along and he had a good salary, but why did he lose the job? How can we maintain our living? How to turn over the loan every month? How to get my child’s tuition? Need I find a job to support our life? But on second thoughts, nowadays it was not easy to find a job and I did not go to work for a long time. No experience but with a child, who would like to employ me? I felt very upset as soon as I thought about a clutch of problems which were going to come. All day I was in one of my black moods and did not want to talk with my husband, even screamed to order my child to do homework and housework. I thought that my husband’s losing job was the greatest issue and difficulty we faced in our family. The poor life we would face showed in my mind from time to time, and I was so worried and scared that I wanted to solve the issue as soon as possible.
Two days later, I told a sister my husband had lost the job and my concerns. The sister said, “All things and events are controlled by God. We believe that nothing is impossible for God. We should seek and pray to Him more, entrusting the matter of finding job into Him. If He prepares for us, He will bless and lead us. If not, we also should learn to obey Him and wait.” Then she sent a passage of fellowship to me, “Nothing is too difficult for God. If you rely on God and desire to solve difficulties with true heart, the Holy Spirit will certainly inspire you and make you understand. So you should have faith in God. If you don’t rely on God but rely on yourself, you will solve the problem slowly and be easy to delay many things.” After reading this fellowship, I gradually calmed down and gained support in my heart. I resolved to commit my difficulties to God and accepted His manipulation and arrangement with an obedient heart. So I prayed to God, “Oh God! How should I face such environment? I think I need a job, but I lack faith. Because I will face many difficulties and what’s more, I don’t want to lose the chance to attend meetings with brothers and sisters. Oh God! I’d like to commit my difficulties to you. May You lead and guide me. No matter what environment I will encounter in future, I will learn to rely on and obey You.”
Another two days later, my sister asked me to apply for a job as a designer in the interior decoration company. At that time, I was so worried that nobody would employ me for my going to work with a 4-year-old child. My husband also did not agree me to work outside. I was hesitant about it and lacked the courage to apply for the job. God’s words suddenly came to me, “It’s very simple now: Look upon Me with your heart and your spirit will immediately become strong, you will have a path to follow and I will guide your every step. My word shall be revealed to you at all times and in all places. No matter where or when, or how adverse the environment is, I will show you clearly and My heart shall be revealed to you if you look to Me with your heart; this way you will run down the road ahead and never lose your way” (“The Thirteenth Utterance”). God’s words allow me to understand that whatever environment I encounter, God will lead me as long as I look up on Him. After praying, I plucked up the courage to call the boss. I was very happy that he asked me to have an interview, feeling God had listened to my prayer. On the way to the company, I drove a car, praying to God unceasingly, and may Him guide me to experience this environment. No matter what the result was, I was willing to obey it.
After we met, we talked about our conditions and requires. Soon, we reached an agreement. To my most surprised, the boss agreed readily that I could go to work with my child. Moreover, the job was very relaxing: I worked for eight hours a day as a secretary and the environment was very good; on the other hand, I was available to attend meetings. The family, life and the meeting time were all under my control. Seeing what God had arranged for me was really beyond my request and imagination, my heart was filled with thanks and praise to God.
What happened next made me see more God’s wonderful deeds. One day of March 2017, my child suddenly got a high fever. I was very anxious, so I quickly prayed to God and entrusted him into God’s hands. On the second day, I took him to see a doctor. The doctor said he got a fever and just needed to take some antipyretic. However, a few days later, my child still had the fever. I had to go to the clinic again, but the doctor told me he needed to have a blood test and seemed to get the dengue fever. After hearing that, I was scared very much. The dengue fever was easy to decrease the platelet index and the patient would bleed unceasingly once they were hurt. The more I thought about that, the messier my heart was and the more I felt scared. At this point, I thought I should have faith in God. So I prayed to God silently, “Oh God! The disease befalls my child. I feel bad and am so worried about him, but I don’t understand what Your desire is. I know God You’re almighty, but I lack faith in You. May You give me faith and strength so that I can overcome the weakness of flesh. I’m willing to entrust my child into Your hands. May You keep and care him.”
After prayer, I thought of God’s words again, “The heart and spirit of man are held in the hand of God, and all the life of man is beheld in the eyes of God. Regardless of whether or not you believe this, any and all things, living or dead, will shift, change, renew, and disappear according to God’s thoughts. This is how God rules over all things” (“God Is the Source of Man’s Life”). From God’s words, I understood that any living and lifeless things are changed following the thoughts of God. God is the Creator and He rules and commands all things. I should have a right attitude to face such an environment, and shouldn’t make demands of God, but learn to obey. Although I was not sure if my child had the dengue fever, I still would rely on and look up to God. Because our fate was controlled by God’s hands. Afterward, the report of blood test came out: My child produced the thrombocytopenia. The doctor needed to continually draw blood to make sure whether his platelet was normal or not. At first, I accepted the doctor’s proposal that we would take a blood test every other day. However,my child’s blood test reports were abnormal for several days. And when the doctor drew blood, I saw he always could not find the right place to take blood. He changed a few places to take blood, but he couldn’t draw any blood. Seeing the pain reflected in my child’s face and the sound of his sobbing, I felt my heart was broken. I could only call on God in my heart, and submit the matter to God.
In the following days, although the doctor found the source of my child’s symptom of illness, he said the platelet disease could not be cured. My child would be in hospital if the platelet continually decreased to an abnormal index. The doctor’s words made me somewhat worried, “Oh God! What should I do? May You quiet my heart. I know all things and events are in Your hands. May You reveal Your will to me and lead me by Your words.” Then I recalled God’s words, “All things under God’s arrangements and sovereignty obey natural laws, and if you resolve to let God arrange and dictate everything for you, you should learn to wait, you should learn to seek, you should learn to submit. This is the attitude that every person who wants to submit to God’s authority must take” (“God Himself, the Unique III”). I just understood God’s will. God not only asked me to pray and rely on Him, but also let me learn to seek and obey His sovereignty. The doctor said there are no medicine can be taken, but I could learn to seek according to God’s words. God’s work needs man’s cooperation. When we fall ill, we still should seek appropriate methods in natural rules. As to when my child could recover from his disease, it was controlled by God. So I tried to look for the information on the Internet about his disease. Finally, I found a folk prescription of convenience and ease. Then I wrote it down and did as steps on my child. Later, in the afternoon, I took him to have a blood test in the hospital. Seeing the report, the doctor said with wonder, “How come your child’s platelet index rises to normal? It’s amazing!” Hearing the doctor saying, “it is amazing,” I was moved. I knew it was God’s wonderful manipulation and God’s love coming upon me. At the same time, I also understood that whatever environment we encounter, we should have faith in God. We will surely see God’s guidance as long as we rely on and look up to God with confidence.
Through experiencing God’s words and God’s work on me in the real environments, I knew that God is almighty and practical. As long as we pray to, wait, seek and obey God, He will make a way out for us. On subsequent days of believing in God, no matter what environment I encounter, I will rely on and look up to Him and appreciate every environment He arranges, experience His words and His work with my heart so that I can know Him, walk on the way of true belief in God.
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