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How I Ended Up Becoming ‘The Other Woman’
Last night, I watched a video A Mistake That Ninety-nine Percent of People Will Make, which was shared by one of my Facebook friends. A man in the video is walking through a desert, and he has no water left. He prays to God for help, but God doesn’t help him according to his thoughts. Then he flies into a rage and throws his canteen away, only to see a tap in the direction of the canteen. When he runs to the tap happily, a big hand appears, obstructing his way and showing him a new path. But as he doesn’t see the water source, he ignores the guidance of the big hand and keeps proceeding despite the obstruction. Eventually he gets a drop of water from the tap and leaves pleasantly. Then there appears a fountain in the direction the big hand points to …
The story is practical. In, we, just like the man mentioned in the story, don’t know what we need, nor can we see clearly what is beneficial to us or what is harmful to us. We always think that what we want or what we are fond of is the best. However, most of the time, we encounter obstructions in the pursuit of what we want, and thereby we always can’t fulfill our wish. On the contrary, what we don’t pursue comes to our side before we know it. God’s sovereignty and arrangement is so marvelous; it is really as what is written in Proverbs16:9: “A man’s heart devises his way: but the LORD directs his steps.” These words reminded me of a past event.
In the second half of 2013, I returned home from another location and encountered a classmate from junior high school, whom I hadn’t seen for ten years. Through chatting, I learned that he had gotten married and had a four-year-old daughter. Because we hadn’t seen each other for many years, we had endless words in our talk. Every time we chatted, we felt relaxed and at ease, as if we had returned to our schooldays. When I knew that he was not a, I wanted to preach the Lord’s to him. But as I was deep in conversation with him, my mind was disturbed by the past memories he told me. He often spoke out something of my past unconsciously. From that I knew he loved me secretly when he was in junior high school. At that young age, there was a boy who paid so much attention to me silently, which made me feel warm. I thought he was in deep love with me, or he couldn’t have remembered some of my hobbies so clearly after so many years, especially something that even I had forgotten. When I was a student, I also loved someone secretly, but I had already forgotten his hobbies. Unknowingly, the classmate’s weight in my heart increased, and I was moved by his precious feelings.
I began to enjoy chatting with him, and our relationship was beyond friendship among classmates. I preferred to listen to the honeyed words of him. I remember one night in December he drove to another location. Because it was snowing and the surface of the road was slippery, the roads were dangerous. In order to keep a cool head, he phoned me at around two in the morning. After knowing his position, I kept talking with him until he got to a safe place. In the following day, when I talked about this with my friend, she said, “When a man is in danger, he will phone the person he cares for most.” Her words touched my heart, and I was no longer calm. Later my classmate asked me whether I could accept a divorced man. After much meditation, I thought, “If the divorced man is him, I can accept him.”
Unconsciously, I began to care for him. When he accompanied his wife and daughter after coming back from a business trip and I could do nothing but wait for his phone, I felt down. He said that he had no affection for his wife and would get divorced sooner or later, and that he only couldn’t let go of his daughter. I thought I would take good care of his daughter if the day came. In the evening, I called him up, but he said his wife was asleep and so it was not convenient to talk with me. Then I began to feel sorrow, and even became jealous of his wife. I began to be perverse, and my mind became warped. I even assumed that we two had a true feeling, while his wife was a third party. In the beginning I advised him to live a good life with his wife, but later I expected that he would get divorced with his wife.
When I got lost and walked toward the path of no return, God’s orchestrations and arrangements kept me from slipping into the abyss of irreparable crimes. Because he couldn’t let go of his daughter, he abandoned the thoughts of divorce in the end. Knowing the news, I felt very disappointed and painful. I began to refuse to contact with him. In the meantime, my heart was full of complaint and misunderstanding toward God. I didn’t understand why God had arranged such an episode in my life.
In order to heal my broken heart, I began to put all my energies into the affairs of the church. Because I didn’t gain the truth in this experience, God created some environments elaborately for me, so that I could understand His will and His salvation.
At that period, there were always some sisters sobbing toward me, saying how a third party made a play for their husbands and wrecked their families. In the beginning, I had great sympathy for these sisters. I would depend on God to communicate God’s will to them, trying my best to communicateto help them. At the same time, I also detested a third party, considering them shameless. How could they damage others’ families to fulfill their so-called love? When I was judging them, their behaviors, just like a mirror, made me see that just another step would make me a third party to wreck the classmate’s family. When I saw these sisters’ sufferings, it was as if I had seen the wife of my classmate. I thought: Has she wept in the darkness many times because of me? Has she ever feared that I, who appeared unexpectedly, would wreck her family?
At that moment, I truly saw that since I contacted with my classmate, God had created many environments to obstruct me and prevent me from walking the path of no return. At first, I only wanted to preach the gospel to my classmate; later, however, when I knew he once loved me secretly, my mind wandered. Constrained by morals and reason, I didn’t dare to contact with him more often. When I was too involved, and he began to contact with me frequently, I was too busy with the affairs of the church to meet him. At that time, it was hard for me to understand why there were so many obstructions between us. Only then did I understand that all the obstructions come from God. Seeing that I was walking toward a road of no return, God had always orchestrated and arranged all things for me in secret, so that I had no chance to indulge myself. God loved me silently and His love was so deep, but I was too numb to feel it.
Later, I saw the words of God: “Whenever Satan corrupts man or engages in unbridled harm, God does not stand idly by, neither does He brush aside or turn a blind eye to those He has chosen.”
“God’s treatment of each and every person is earnest and responsible, more responsible even than you are to yourself. Is this not so? God does not speak idly, neither does He stand on high putting on airs nor does He make do with fooling people. Instead He is honestly and silently doing the things He Himself needs to do. These things bring blessings, peace and joy to man, they bring man peacefully and happily before the sight of God and into His family and they bring to man the right reason, right thinking, right judgment and the right frame of mind they need to come before God and receive God’s salvation.” By-reading the two passages of God’s words, I saw and protection of me. In my contact with the classmate, because I had no knowledge of my evil nature, and was influenced by Satan’s thoughts and views such as “Love Supreme” and “Love is innocent,” I was attracted and deceived by my classmate’s abnormal feelings, not knowing that when I was indulging my passion, I was just playing the role of a third party and wrecking a family, and I even sank deeper and deeper…. But God, in order to keep me from being ensnared in the temptation and walking the path of no return, created environments to prevent me and my classmate from coming together. When I didn’t understand God’s will, He once again arranged for other sisters to awake me to reflect on myself from their experiences. He had always been trying to halt my footsteps, leading me back to the right path. Recalling these things that happened, I felt that they all contain God’s love. As I was deceived by Satan’s poison, I became short-sighted, and couldn’t see through things or distinguished between good and bad. I thought what I enjoyed was good, and that those who have a great image were good. I even absurdly regarded wrecking one’s family as pursuing love, and didn’t know that what I was pursuing was just harming me. Actually, my preferences, which are all negative things measured according to the perspective of Satan, don’t accord with the truth at all, and they are completely incompatible with God’s will. Nowadays, so many people play the role of a third party and so many families have been destroyed by them. They all have their own excuses which seem to be right. But no one can deny the fact that the damage and the hurt from a third party have had a profound impact on the society, families, and individuals. If it weren’t for God’s protection, I must have been a malicious third party and wrecked my classmate’s family. Not until then did I realize: The obstructions are precisely God’s protection and salvation for me.
Through this special experience, I also realized that it is very important to be a person who is upright and kind, and is of benefit to others. Since I neither possessed the truth nor had any ability to discern, I got lost in real life. However, God held my hands all the time and led me to the right path so that I didn’t lose myself. Thanks be to God!
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