“blessed be the name of Jehovah.” His blessing of God’s name was unconditional, irrespective of context, and without reason.
God’s True Love Brought Him to God’s Home
My wife said to me in a dry voice: “Let’s get divorced. Our life can’t go on like this. We have run out of money and you can’t do any labor anymore. How will you feed our child and me?”
I asked her, puzzled: “Divorce? Even if you don’t think for me, you should think for our child. She is too young to lose her mother.”
But my wife replied: “Think for our child? Who thinks for me? The situation is such that I can’t think too much about it.”
Then I asked her again: “If I had 200,000 yuan with me now, would you still divorce and leave me?”
“Of course not,” she answered.
“Do you still have any conscience?”
“No,” she replied coldly.
My wife’s words made my heart extremely distressed. I really could not believe that she was the one that once vowed solemnly to share with me both joys and sorrows until old age.
I used to have a happy family.
My family was not well off, but I found a wife who loved me. I remember in 2005 when we got married, I asked my wife: “My family is poor, won’t you regret marrying me?” She said: “I won’t regret it my whole life. I marry you because you are good and that’s what matters. As for money, it’s merely an externality which will come and go. Now that I have chosen you, I will share the bitter and the sweet with you. No matter how difficult things are in the future, I will always hold your hand till we grow old.” After I heard her professions of love, I was so moved. At that moment, I felt I was the happiest person in the world.
After we got married, there were almost no quarrels and fights between us and she was very respectful to my parents. My relatives and neighbors all praised me for having found a good wife. A year later, we had an addition to our family, our lovely daughter, which made us feel incomparable happiness and joy. In order to give my wife and daughter a better life, apart from working overtime in the factory to make more money, at home I also actively made delicious food for them to eat. This way, our whole family lived a joyous life. Seeing my beloved daughter and my kind and wise wife, I felt so satisfied and could not help but feel glad in my heart that I had found true love.
I got a disease and sought treatment everywhere but to no avail.
When my daughter was over one year old, I always felt exhausted and very sleepy. After going to the hospital for an examination, I was diagnosed with ascites due to cirrhosis and being infected with hepatitis B virus carriers; this disease was infectious. I was stunned and could hardly believe my ears then, thinking: “How can I have this disease at such a young age? My child is yet so young, how will we make it through the days in the future?” But my wife consoled me: “Don’t worry. Science is highly developed nowadays, so there will be a way.” Her words brought me some comfort and I nodded in agreement.
With my wife’s encouragement, I looked everywhere for folk remedies and took both Chinese medicine and Western medicine. After over a year of treatment, we went through all our savings but my illness never got any better. My wife then showed a complete change in attitude toward me, starting to cold-shoulder me. But considering that because of my illness, I had got her involved in trouble, I thought I should show understanding of her feelings. Thus, I tiptoed around to maintain my relationship with her so as to keep this family together.
One day in 2008, when relieving myself in the bathroom, I found myself passing bloody stool. Then I spent seven days in hospital on a drip before the bleeding stopped. The doctor told me: “Your disease is rather serious and you need an operation. Otherwise, you won’t be able to do any work in the future. It seems like you can continue living for three years at most; you must know this. In addition, the operation carries great risks.…” Hearing his words, I felt my mind went totally blank.
After my wife learned that the operation would cost a large amount of money and it would be not necessarily successful, she began to give me the cold shoulder. My parents, seeing my condition, had no choice but to borrow from our relatives and friends and we finally scraped up enough money for the operation. To be on the safe side, we found a doctor by going through connections. After learning about my condition, however, the doctor told me: “Your disease is really serious. It seems to me that there is no need to have this operation. It will cost you money and cause you suffering, and moreover, there isn’t much hope of you getting better.” After I heard his words, I could only resign myself to my fate. In the following days, my wife was all the colder to me and I lived in the midst of pain and helplessness.
My wife left me heartlessly.
“I will divorce you, with or without your agreement.” My wife’s heartless words pulled me back to the reality and made me feel that there was no way to get her to change her mind. At the same time, her words also made me lose all hope in life. I thought: What’s the point of living like this? I would rather die than live this way. But I had second thoughts: “If I do this, won’t I harm my child? Besides, what about my parents? They worked hard to bring me up. When I fell ill, they borrowed money everywhere just to enable me to live on. I can’t hurt their heart.” In desperate straits, I agreed to divorce my wife. The moment I held the divorce certificate in my hand, I was in excruciating torment and felt so desolate. … At that time, I truly experienced that human relationships are fickle and the world is treacherous. Just as the oft-heard sayings: “There is no true love in the world,” and “The couple did actually like the two birds of the same forest that flew away separately when the disaster impended.”
Dogged by misfortune, I began to give up on myself.
Before long, my father passed away. The continuous misfortunes made me dispirited and weak, feeling powerless to support myself anymore. Since I got sick, my father had become the pillar of the family, but now, he died, which made our life even more difficult. Additionally, my relatives and friends didn’t want to have any contact with us; they all avoided me like the plague. I tried to do some temporary job to make a living, but nobody dared to hire me for fear of my infecting them. At that time, I was in total despair, feeling that I was good for nothing. The various setbacks caused me so much pain that I didn’t want to live anymore. I started to give up on myself and, despite my illness, drank and smoked so as to anesthetize myself and drown my sorrows. After a period of torturing myself in this way, I really wanted to kill myself to end it all. Just when I was living helplessly in pain and despair, God’s salvation in the last days came upon me.
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